Real Marriage Tour – San Diego Recap

“My Church will be served by me

…My wife will be loved by me.”

The Real Marriage Tour made it’s third stop in sunny San Diego, CA on February 24th and 25th and like the two previous stops it was a success. We do not measure our success by the number of tickets or books sold, but rather by the marriages that are impacted and the people who come to know Christ.

Over the weekend had 4 people accept Christ. Three women and 1 man courageously got up on stage and were led to faith by Pastor Mark. For us there is nothing more exciting than to see people receive Christ, we rejoice and praise the Lord for this blessing.

At every Real Marriage event we get tons of feedback from couples who have had their marriages strengthened, improved and healed.

Here are some comments that we have received:

“Just a note, my wife and I came to find a reason to not quit our 19 year marriage and you gave us some clear reasons to work things out and some easy ways to do it thank you so much.” Leon Pyatt

“What an amazing and refreshing time! So glad we attended and that we took so much away with us! I am excited to see how our marriage grows even stronger through these teachings and our stronger committment to God and his Word!” Sheila Pierce

“Wow, Mark just had all the men stand, look their spouse in the eye and vow to love them and lead their family in Christ and then pray over them. What a powerful moment to see a thousand men praying over their wives.” – Brenda Hagel

“What an awesome and powerful moment. To hear the whispers of the men praying over their wives was incredible” – Lisa Gardner

 

Real Marriage Community

What is really cool for us to see at Real Marriage events is the community of believers that come together for a common goal – glorifying Christ through life change. We love seeing people get excited about truth and their desire to learn and grow is contagious. At every event we see a wide range of people – singles, engaged, newlyweds, divorced, and even those that have been married for 35+ years showing us that it is never too early or too late to improve your relationship.

The RM team got to start the day off right with key staff team from The Rock Church at Jimmy’s Famous American Tavern. Just another 70 degree day in San Diego staring at the water, the boats and eating some awesome fish tacos. We could all get used to this.

Then it was off to the church to get everything set up. The team from the Creative/Media department, facilities, and events staff were simply amazing. It is truly a God thing how Pastor Miles McPherson and the members of The Rock have been such great stewards of the building. They reach over 13,000 people in 5 services every Sunday and there just isn’t a whole lot of parking. The people are clearly proving that if you will preach the Bible with passion and relevancy and committed to reaching people in your city, not just being a holy huddle, they will come.

Worship led by Dustin Kensrue

Praise God from whom all blessings flow… Praise him all creatures here below… The sound of thousands singing praise filled the church as Dustin Kensure and his band from Mars Hill Orange County led worship. Each night and each morning of every conference is started and sometimes closed with worship. This time reminds me of the passage in Ezekiel 37:4 where the Spirit of the Lord tells Ezekiel to prophesy over the dry bones… “Then he said to me, “4 Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Often when we enter into the a time of worship we are as dry as these bones… our hearts are dead, we are not ready to hear the Word, but praise and worship brings us back to life and prepares us to receive truth. It is another sweet time to participate with a group of believers singing songs to our creator.


 

Carlos and Sonia Roacho Vow Renewal

Saturday we ended the event with a renewing of vows and God lead us to Carlos and Sonia Roacho. WOW – God’s grace, power, love and mercy was so evident in their lives. The power of prayer that Sonia expressed as she prayed for Carlos over many years and how God has redeemed their individual lives and their marriage, simply remarkable.

As expected, Pastor Mark delivered strong Biblical teaching filled with truth designed to greatly improve marriages and once again, the vow renewal was an amazing display of the power, grace, and redemptive love of God for his people and marriages. The couple’s story of starting as an extramarital affair and having a child out of wedlock and later accepting Christ and becoming a strong, godly family was very powerful.

The weekend was uplifting, positive, and a time of healing, reconciliation, and great growth. God was definitely glorified!

Carlos’ Letter

First of all I would want to thank our Lord Jesus Christ for my marriage.
It was put in our heart for us to celebrate our 10th anniversary at this marriage conference, we had the opportunity to go anywhere this weekend but we wanted to celebrate and give thanks for all God has done in our marriage and we wanted to start with HIM!

4 years ago I accepted the Lord inches before separation, the guilt was then gone and the scales in my eyes were removed, my marriage was restored and now I want to keep the flame lit in our marriage constantly pray and re-instate why we were created and that is to be no longer alone forever on this earth.

Carlos’ Vows

Sonia,
you are the greatest wife and partner.
During these 10 years we have endured the biggest storms life can give us, I love u and promise:
To respect you
To keep hearing you
To be faithful
To protect you at all times
To be an excellent husband
To make sure our household serves the Lord
To keep the flame lit to matter the circumstances
Because you are my partner for always till our Lord calls us to to his heavenly kingdom.

I Love u more than ever and always will.

Sonia’s Letter / Vows

Today 10 years ago and after going thru good times and bad, sickness and health today I promise in as God as my witness be always be with you in good and bad, honor you and respect you.

Now that I know you wellI accept you with your faults and virtudes, love you all the days that are left in my life, I promise to be your help and your partner in Life.
And I want you to know that you are a great man of God , I thought my awaited fairy tale had eneded when I married you but in reality it started when JESUS came in and joined part of our marriage.

Food for the Hungry

We are extremely thankful for our Sponsors at the Real Marriage Tour and we are so pleased at the number of Children that have been sponsored at each of these events. However, there are over 75 still out and if you have one of these packets please fill out the included registration card and return it in the envelope provided before February 29th. After the 29th, they will need to go online to sponsor a child. If you have any questions please call the number on the back of the packets and the office will be more than happy to help. Thanks for your support!

Logos Bible Software

At each of our Real Marriage events we have booths setup for our Sponsors and there is always a flurry of activity at the Logos Bible Software table where there are special package prices for this amazing Bible Study software. We love Logos and are so thankful for them in all they do to spread the Word, but they also help make our events fun by sponsoring our Kindle Fire give away. At each event we have attendees post their picture on the Real Marriage Facebook wall and on Saturday we pick a winner. This week our winner’s were “Over the Top for Marriage” – Mario and Steph Torresday. Congratulations to this blessed couple!

A Word of Thanks

The team of staff and volunteers at The Rock was an amazing group of servant leaders who excel at expressing Jesus’ love. Most of the volunteers were couples who participated in the event while they were not working. Rock staff members Courtney, Michelle, and Valerie are skilled pros at large events and made for a terrific experience for event staff and participants

.

By |February 27th, 2012|Live Events, Real Marriage, Weekly Devos|1 Comment

Real Marriage Tour – Phoenix, AZ Recap

Sarah & Kevin Real Marriage Vow Renewal

“I unfortunately got addicted to pornography, online, dishonored my wife… I wanted her to be what was on the internet…” – Kevin

“I was very lonely… I wanted my best friend… I wanted someone to be interested in me… so I found that in someone else… ” – Sarah

It’s easy to get caught up in the fun of a conference atmosphere. There are people excited to hear Mark Driscoll. There are lines of people waiting. There is anticipation and book signings, tweets and Facebook posts, and it’s wonderful – but what really matters, what really goes on beyond the big event atmosphere is life change. While this book and tour are packaged in a bright red cover with a cute bride and groom wedding cake topper, the issues that are dealt with on this tour are often dark, ugly and real. What may seem like a lost cause might be an opportunity for the Lord to do a great work in your life and then allow you to use what you have learned to minister to others – just as Kevin and Sarah are doing in this transparent telling of their own personal story.

Pastor Mark uses his years of experience to cut to the heart of a variety of issues that he covers in the book Real Marriage, but at the conferences he goes into further detail on other topics as well as taking questions from the audience. I’m always surprised by the boldness of what some people ask, but I like the spontaneity and the personal quality of each event as every city has it’s own culture and every church has it’s own subculture and so everyone has a different point of view and their own set of questions.

As a single man I’m always extremely thankful that I have the opportunity to learn from these conferences. While sometimes we hear what not to do we often aren’t told exactly why. Understanding the consequences of our actions as men is a great deterrent to making repeated mistakes or getting caught up in something that seems relatively harmless. I highly recommend the Real Marriage book to marrieds and singles and if you can, try to make one of these events, it will change your life and the way you look at relationships.

A special thanks to Kevin and Sarah for their willingness to share their heart and for the courage to stand up in front of thousands and tell us their story. We hope you find it as encouraging as we did. If you would like to read their written vows you can download them here: Kevin’s Vows & Sarah’s Vows

What Others Were Saying…

“Pastor Mark Driscoll knocked it out of the Park at Mission Community Church. When the tour comes to your town, I highly recommend you make it a priority. Lots of significant conversations happened all over our campus between couples. And five men gave their life to Christ Friday night. – Mark Connelly

“Just attended an amazing conference on marriage. WOW! Marriages are worth fighting for. My take away this weekend is my husband is my Best Friend. My relationship with Jesus must be first priority and prepares me for my relationship with my husband. It made me pause and remind myself that I must die to my self and serve others, in life and especially in my marriage. Humble servants have good marriages. Bitterness and selfishness destroys marriages. Forgiveness, humility and dying to myself will prosper my marriage. My husband and I can’t wait to dig deeper into Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage. Thanks Pastor Mark!” – Davida Monts de Oca

Photos from Real Marriage Phoenix, Arizona

We love getting great photos at the conferences and so if you have some that you want to share, post them on our Facebook wall or send them to Eddie Renz and he’ll post some of them here on this recap.

In this photo on the far left are our Kindle Winners Ty and Katelyn Kieser – courtesy of Logos Bible Software. We always pick a winner from someone who posts a great picture to our Real Marriage Facebook wall and we couldn’t resist this great picture of Ty and Katelyn. The two guys in the middle are Samson (on the right) and Mark who arrived the morning of the conference at 10 a.m. and got in line. Then, they slept in their truck through the night in the parking lot so they could get their front row seats. We love die hard fans and have a quick clip of them waiting in line.

 

Joe’s Farm Grill

For those of us who were coming in from out of town it seemed that the most recommended spot was Joe’s Farm Grill. While we were there I had no idea that it was featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives but as a Food Network Foodie I was delighted to know that this is one more restaurant I can check off my list of Triple D stops. Doug and I had the Ahi Tuna burgers and sweet potato fries and I added an extra regular cheeseburger to my order as well. Working a conference really works up an appetite and so I was carb and protein loading for the day. As you can see from the video, these burgers weren’t little and while the food was fast, it tasted anything but.

 

We LOVE Our Volunteers

For Me (Eddie Renz) my favorite part of going on the conference other than what I learn is meeting new people. Every state has it’s own vibe and the people from Arizona were some of the most laid back, kind, servant-hearted people I have ever worked with. The team that helped construct this event were MACHINES. From the moment we started planning the conference until the very last box was taped up the staff and volunteers at Mission Community Church made our lives easier.

Hungry? Not once. Thirsty? How can I be when I’m constantly being waited on hand and foot as if I’m at a resort. There was not a single moment that I wanted for anything – even before I could think of what I needed it was already handled. It was amazing. I want to say a special thanks to Abby, Lissette, Kim, Lisa, Tim, and Josh who were the people that I worked closely with at the event. There were a myriad of hands involved in making this event run smoothly from the technical team to the janitorial staff. We sometimes overlook the details and forget to say “Thanks” to all the behind-the-scenes people, but we want to be sure and let all of our volunteers know that they are noticed and appreciated. We are supremely blessed to be involved with a much-needed ministry and our hearts are always over-joyed to work with others who share the same goal – glorifying Jesus Christ. We love you all in Phoenix and hope to see you again soon!

By |February 19th, 2012|Live Events, Real Marriage, Weekly Devos|4 Comments

Real Marriage Tour – Corona, CA


 What Others Were Saying after the Conference

“My hubby and I had a great time at the Real Marriage Tour event! Even though our marriage is amazing, there is always room for growth! Thank you for sharing how we can bring our marriage to a higher level ~ We are Face to Face, View Sex as a gift, Servant + Servant = Godly Marriage! Thank you for challenging us to have more FUN, FUN, FUN, to always keep our spouse in second place just under God, and not let the little foxes get into our beautiful garden!” – Christina Nordmark

Thank you for being practical, honest and funny! My husband and I really enjoyed ourselves and I pray that “by the Grace of God” we can put the information into practice!- Lauren Briggs

This conference is amazing and has taught me so much! Praise God! – Andrew Maxwell

A Recap of the Real Marriage Tour

I awoke at 4:16 a.m. even though my alarm was set for 5:00 a.m. I was wide awake so I figured I might as well start getting ready since you can really never be too early for a flight out of DFW.

Doug, the owner of The Hub and producer of the Real Marriage Tour, met me at the airport and we had an intense strategy session 20,000 feet in the air.

As we flew over New Mexico we were both in awe at the vastness of God’s creation. The desert. The mountains. It was all so remote and from our viewpoint – tiny. We could only wonder what the world looks like in the palm of God’s hand.

We arrived in Corona, CA at 9:11. This was my first trip to California and it’s beauty and climate exceeded my expectations.

We met up with some of the creative crew from Mars Hill church for lunch as well as Peter McGowan of Plain Joe Studies. We feasted on the patio at Miguels Mexican Restaurant with hot food on our plates and warm sunshine on our backs – a real treat when the weather in Texas was rainy and cold when we left that morning.

We arrived at Crossroads Church and began to setup the lobby of the church with tables upon tables of merchandise as well as promotional booths and banners for our sponsors – Logos Bible Software, Food for the Hungry and Air 1 FM Radio.

We were running a little behind schedule and were surprised when people started arriving around 4:30 to attend the conference when doors wouldn’t even open until 6 p.m. By 5 people were standing in line for registration, by 5:30 people were streaming in and there was a buzz and excitement in the air. At 6:20 Mark & Grace showed up to sign autographs and take pictures. There was a huge line for the autographs and so we recommend getting there early if you want to be sure and get your book signed and your photo with Mark and Grace.

Praise and Worship with Dustin Kensrue

Dustin Kensrue of Thrice kicked off the evening with praise and worship and everyone loved it. When I asked one attendee “What was your favorite part of the conference” he said, “The praise and worship and the Q&A” – and he was right, both of these things were big hits at the conference. Dustin is genuine and sings from the heart and one of my favorite things about being a Christian is corporate worship. There is nothing like coming together with a body of believers and praising the Lord.

Real Marriage with Mark Driscoll

Mark started teaching and immediately he had the crowd laughing. If you haven’t heard Mark Driscoll teach then you should check out his podcast or download some of his teaching from our website. Mark doesn’t beat around the bush and as Hector, one of the conference attendees interviewed said, “Mark has no shame”. Hector continued to tell me that he appreciated that Mark would talk about topics that other churches were often afraid to speak on. People have real questions, they expect real answers, not fluff.

Real Marriage - Mark and Grace Driscoll

During the Q&A Mark and Grace answered questions like “Why are some guys scared to make the first move?” and “What can I do to get my husband to pursue me?”  Mark and Grace gave great answers to both questions. Mark had the crowd laughing when he answered about the guys being scared to make the first move. He pretty much said that guys shouldn’t be going around to a girl’s friends and asking “Does so and so like me, maybe?” Instead men need to be okay with taking a risk – it’s what being a man is about. Just keep it simple, ask a girl if you can get to know her more and if she says no, then say “Well, okay, just tell all your friends I was honorable.”

Not Just for Married People…

Everyone should attend the Real Marriage Conference. As a single man who has attended multiple marriage events over the years I can honestly say that each time I go I learn something new.  The single attendees that I asked about the conference said that the topic on selfishness really hit home with them. As human beings it’s often all about us and that is something we forget when pursuing a mate. There is so much amazing information at these conferences that you would be so far ahead of the curve if you attended BEFORE you got married. If everyone heard this information before they got married then I’m sure they would avoid years of heartache.

Real Marriage Changes Lives

Attending a Real Marriage Conference is life-changing. Many people asked me, “Why should I go to the conference when I can just listen to this online?” I guess the best answer would be why do you go to a concert to hear a singer when you can just listen to them on the radio? It’s all about shared experience. You get to come together with people who have a common interest and want to share their experience with other people. There is an energy and a joy that you get from being at a conference. I have seen couples after the conferences praying together, holding each other, crying together. Lives are changed.

At each of our conferences we plan to do a vow renewal for a couple that wants to renew their vows in front of the congregation. This is something you won’t experience online or by just watching the DVD. We also have question and answer sessions that are unique to each event since the participants text their questions in and we choose them while Mark Driscoll is speaking.

 

How is The Hub connected to Mars Hill Church?

A question I got a lot at the conference was “How is The Hub connected to Mars Hill Church and Mark Driscoll?” Well, if you are new to The Hub then you may not know that we used to be called SongofSolomon.com and that we have produced and promoted over 150 conferences over the last 15 years. Doug Hudson, owner of The Hub is passionate about great Bible teaching as well as spreading the word about Jesus Christ through live events. He partnered with Mark & Grace Driscoll and Mars Hill Church to produce and promote The Real Marriage Tour which is sponsored by Logos Bible Software as well as Food for the Hungry, Bible Study Magazine, PastorMark.tv, The Resurgence, Vyrso, and 5 Love Languages.

We want to say a big THANKS to all of our sponsors, our on the street photographers (Brett Benham) our wonderful selfless volunteers, the staff from Mars Hill and Crossroads Christian Church, to Mark and Grace and of course our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

More videos and pictures coming soon so be sure and watch our Facebook and Twitter pages for updates.

Join the Fun

Tickets are available for the other 6 conferences. Get Ticket Info Here.

By |February 5th, 2012|Live Events, Real Marraige, Weekly Devos|3 Comments

Real Marriage Tour – Special Edition iPAD 2 Giveaway

Special-Edition iPad 2

The Real Marriage Tour kicks off this February with 7 tour stops, starting in Corona, California. To celebrate, we’ll be giving away a special-edition, Real Marriage iPad 2 preloaded with Pastor Mark’s entire sermon archive, thanks to Logos Bible Software, as well as the following ebooks, courtesy of Vyrso:

Preloaded Books by Mark Driscoll

  • Real Marriage
  • Doctrine
  • Religion Saves
  • Disciple
  • Death by Love
  • Vintage Church
  • Vintage Jesus
  • Church Leadership
  • Who Is God?
  • The New Testament
  • The Power of Words and the Wonder of God

How To Win

To be entered to win you can fill out the Giveaway form over on the Real Marriage Tour Facebook page  (you’re one-stop shop for all the updates on the RM Tour).

Here’s the best part: you have 7 chances to win, and the more you share, the more chances you’ll have to win. Each winner will be announced the Monday before each event. So,tell your friends on Twitter and Facebook about the contest and the Real Marriage Tour to up your chances for a free iPad 2.

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out the Real Marriage event nearest to you, or visit our Real Marriage Tour page to find out info on times and locations.

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By |January 14th, 2012|Hub Thots, Live Events, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

Buy 10 Tickets, Get Free Autographed Copy of Real Marriage

Free Ebook Offer

At The Hub we are always trying to create fun new opportunities for our conference attendees to get the most out of their conference and now we have a new offer – starting January 5th the first 75 registrants for the Real Marriage Tour will receive a free copy of Real Marriage in eBook form!

Just use Promo Code RMeBook at checkout. 

Free Autographed Book Offer

If you are planning on coming to one of the 7 conferences, round up a group of friends, purchase 10 tickets or more and you’ll receive a free autographed copy of Mark and Grace Driscoll’s book Real Marriage.

How to Get Your Free Autographed Book

When buying your group tickets of 10 or more, please enter promo code FREEBOOK at checkout.  When you arrive at the registration desk on the day of your event, just give them your name and your autographed copy will be given to you then.

Special-Edition iPad 2

The Real Marriage Tour kicks off this February with 7 tour stops, starting in Corona, California. To celebrate, we’ll be giving away a special-edition, Real Marriage iPad 2 preloaded with Pastor Mark’s entire sermon archive, thanks to Logos Bible Software, as well as the following ebooks, courtesy of Vyrso:

Preloaded Books by Mark Driscoll

  • Real Marriage
  • Doctrine
  • Religion Saves
  • Disciple
  • Death by Love
  • Vintage Church
  • Vintage Jesus
  • Church Leadership
  • Who Is God?
  • The New Testament
  • The Power of Words and the Wonder of God

How To Win

To be entered to win you can fill out the Giveaway form over on the Real Marriage Tour Facebook page  (you’re one-stop shop for all the updates on the RM Tour).

Here’s the best part: you have 7 chances to win, and the more you share, the more chances you’ll have to win. Each winner will be announced the Monday before each event. So, tell your friends on Twitter and Facebook about the contest and the Real Marriage Tour to up your chances for a free iPad 2.

If you haven’t already, make sure to check out the Real Marriage event nearest to you, or visit our Real Marriage Tour page to find out info on times and locations.

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By |December 26th, 2011|Live Events, Mark Driscoll, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

God's Love in The City of Angels

On Valentine’s Day in LA  there were two premieres: The Valentine’s Day movie and Truth According to God on Love, Sex, and Marriage. In downtown LA on Broadway, the heart of culture influencing media, the gospel of Jesus Christ and His design for romantic relationships was communicated.

Pastor Mark Driscoll shared from the Bible, his heart, and his experience as a pastor on how God is the creator of our bodies and souls and just how messed up our lives can get when we try and figure out sex and marriage on our own.  If we base our lives on the world’s advice, or anything other than Christ and His Word, true fulfillment in relationships and sex will never be ours.  Sex is good, not gross. Sex is pure in the sight of God and encouraged by his very direct words in Song of Solomon: “Drink friends and imbibe deeply.”

Marriage between one woman and one man is greatness, and it takes a lot of work.  A poignant quote from Pastor Mark to the women: “Single ladies, if he will not work to get you, what makes you think he will work to keep you?”

Most men want the ladies to do all the work, or perhaps the man is willing to work to get her, but then he says, “I got her, now it is back to my career.”

The underlying theme throughout the day can be summed up in these two lines: God is the author and creator of life, sexuality and marriage, not the world, so stop looking to others who are just as flawed as we are.

Secondly, in marriage, be a Servant Lover.  Marriage is based upon unselfishness.  Therefore, in sexuality, in money, in raising kids, in all areas, be a servant.  If you will by God’s strength and power set out to be a servant lover, chances are you will be just as fulfilled as your spouse who you have been faithfully loving and serving.

God is with you in your situation no matter what the cirucumstances look like at this very moment.  There is hope and there is redemption for Los Angeles  and the world.

By |February 17th, 2010|Hub Thots, Live Events, Mark Driscoll, Song of Solomon|2 Comments

Haiti, How Can I Help?

Words don’t express the pain that humans, created by God, are experiencing in Haiti. And, now a second earthquake. I am not angry at God, but I can’t say I understand these times either. Some people say, Jesus, come back now.

I think yes, but then I think of those who don’t know Him yet, and as Tommy Nelson once said, “Aren’t all Christians grateful that Christ did not come back the day before we were saved?”

It is hard to comprehend all of this tragedy. Mark Driscoll travels there and witnesses a teenage boy being shot and killed. My 13 year old daughter is trying to process all this at dinner time last night and she cried for people she has never met. “God, I believe, help my unbelief” is what Christ said through the Apostle Paul.

So, this begs the response, what should I do? What can you do? Generally it comes down to a few basic things:

  • Pray.
  • Go.
  • Give money.

At The Hub, 20% of all online sales through February 1, 2010 will be donated to Haiti.  All monies will be donated to www.churcheshelpingchurches.com To whom much is given, much is required.

God is with Haiti, and their people, even when we don’t understand.

Doug Hudson

By |January 20th, 2010|Mark Driscoll, Tuesday's with Doug, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

The Kids & Re-Marriage

For a first week of questions you guys really did not waste any time. Of course, when we are experiencing pain, time is of the essence, right!

In thinking about which direction to go in my response, I tried to think about one of the issues brought up that may affect the most people. I just spent some time with family over the Thanksgiving holiday, as I am sure many of you did, which of course is a whole other topic, right? So who is going to give me counsel on that one?

But, here is a point that I know so many people deal with. I am not going to focus on the biblical/theological issues dealing with re-marriage. That is a very lengthy conversation and one that has much disagreement within the Christian church. In fact, if you ask most pastors, they will be hard pressed to put their true beliefs on paper, and many of them will tell you it is not the issue of divorce that is difficult, it is the issue of re-marriage.

But I digress. 🙂 The issue for this response is dealing with the kids from previous marriages. This is extremely difficult whether the kids are young, or if the kids are grown.

I think my primary principle is two-fold. When you choose to re-marry, you have a new husband/wife. The principle in Genesis is that a man should leave his mother and father and the two shall become one flesh. Marriage is a new union of two becoming one. This is why the issue of re-marriage is so difficult, and in my belief another in a very long line of reasons why God intended and designed for one marriage, one husband and one wife. However, even in the issue of the death of a spouse where there is no theological problem related to ‘is it okay to remarry’, the issue of the kids is still very much an issue.

First principle: If God called you into a marriage, then you need to be committed to God first, then to your spouse, then to your family. Now, I know this is very difficult. But, each person did decide to get married, and with that comes ‘opportunities’ to be faithful to God and our commitment. The real issue in many folks situation is that the person we choose to re marry is not submitting themselves to God and therefore they can cause more problems than they should. These are signs that we should look for diligently prior to getting married or re-married.

You will continue to hear me say over and over again, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  But, of course God’s forgiveness is for all of us because we all need the greatest ‘Cure’ of all time, Him.  So, any husband or wife dealing with a difficult spouse on any issue, pray diligently for them.

In another blog we posted, Mark Driscoll makes the statement to ‘invite’ your spouse, don’t nag your spouse.  I suggest mustering the most patient, kind and courageous attitude, after much prayer, and trying to get an honest dialogue going with your spouse about how you really feel.  Not emotional, no ‘angry words’ or ‘tones’, but an honest, calm discussion.  No ultimatums, no expectations of immediate relief or change, but an honest dialogue that allows room for God to change both you and your spouse’s heart.

Much of the angst that fills our heart and mind on these issues is that “I just wish I could fix it right away,” it is the sense of being out of control.  Well, guess what, we are not in control of anyone, other than ourselves, and the only control we have is to submit to God and live one day at a time.

My second principle is your kids are your kids.  It is always a delicate balance and one that takes much time, self-control, brave communication and trust to guide us through this journey.  Again, the issues of dealing with the kids in any situation, re-marriage, grandkids, are very present and real.

The balance from kids becoming their own families and the right level of involvement are things that must be worked out together and over time, and they will change over time.  Of course in all of our families, we all have dysfunction.  Humans are dysfunctional.  Our goal should be each day by God’s grace and power, to be brave and continue our own personal growth and asking the Lord to lead us to make better decisions and leave the results to Him.

So, for all of us and our families, let’s make a start today to: Get quiet and Pray, be brave and to have calm and honest discussions, and leave results to God.  Some of you have tried this, others have not, but again, we all have to live with decisions we have made and trust an all loving and powerful God to work first in our lives, and then in our spouse or kids or grandkids.

Most importantly, God is with you.

To view all of the posts on the Conflict Series, click here.

Austin… What Should Mark and Grace Driscoll know about You?

I talked with Mark this week and he is fired up to be in the Lonestar state on Oct. 2-3.  In fact, I tell him if Seattle was not his home base, Austin is the warm weather version of Seattle.  Both cities are extremely cool, have a great vibe, beautiful and plenty of folks who love Jesus and even more who need Jesus.

Mark and Grace have just spent about three weeks in Greece, Turkey and Israel and have had the opportunity to visit some of the actual places that are mentioned in Song of Solomon.  So, needless to say, they are pumped and more than ready to share their hearts and wisdom with all of us about enjoying this amazing God given relationship called marriage.

So now it is your turn.  What would you like to say to Mark and Grace to let them know more about Austin, H=how you are praying for them, or any cool insights from the coolest city in Texas…

By |September 13th, 2009|Hub Thots, Mark Driscoll, Song of Solomon|6 Comments

Mark & Grace Driscoll Live in Austin

On October 2-3 Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace will be teaching the Live Song of Solomon Conference in Austin at Hill Country Bible Church.  Mark’s presentation of the message is honest, funny, redeeming and very practical. Here is what Kerry from Missouri said about Mark and SOS: “I found it to be incredibly informative and understandable and relatable. Oh, and he’s hilarious!”

That is just one of the 2500 folks who attended the weekend. The Song of Solomon conference is designed for college students, yes, there’s only about 40,000 of them in the area, and they all need it 🙂 and it is great for married and single adults.

To see some video clips of Mark and to register: click here.

At this location, we have the joy of having Grace join with Mark. We will have a Q & A session at the end of Friday night and at the end of Saturday morning. On Saturday Grace will be joining Mark on stage to give her perspective and share her heart on these issues.

I have been a part of over 100 Live SOS events and this is the first time we will have a wife participate on stage and give her thoughts on Song of Solomon.  We are very excited about it and know the ladies/wives attending will be totally blessed.  So great to get both a husband and wife’s perspective on these very felt needs and everyday issues.

So, get your mom or dad to watch the kids for the weekend, make a road trip out of it and come join Mark & Grace Driscoll for an inspiring and relationship changing 6 hours!

Sharing God’s Absolute Best for Love, Marriage & Sex! Come join us.

Doug

By |September 2nd, 2009|Hub Thots, Mark Driscoll, Song of Solomon|0 Comments