This is where we will categorize our general blog posts.
…but you can’t make him drink.
Last Wednesday our family had the opportunity to drive out to a ranch in Texas to celebrate the 4th of July. If you know anything about Texas, people love their ranches. They are designed to bring out the little bit of John Wayne in all of us. Every time I go to a ranch, I ask the Lord if in my next life I can come back as a real cowboy. Then, if I go to the beach, I ask the Lord if I can come back as a surfer dude!
Before you go crazy, ‘my next life’ is just a form of expression 🙂 I know there is only heaven or hell after we leave earth and that is exactly why at The Hub we are so passionate about developing and distributing Bible resources that can draw any person to Christ, whether believer who is seeking to know Christ more intimately or disillusioned believer or not a believer yet.
On the way to the ranch we had a chance to stream a video by Mark Driscoll about who we are in Christ, with our entire family in the car. Parents, this is greatness, kids completely trapped and we had church in the car!
The goal of this blog is not to get you to go trap your family in a car and make them listen to a sermon, but it is for you to think creatively and be spontaneous about how to share and model truth to your family. Technology allows us the access to have the truth ready for delivery whenever you are ready for it! You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Perhaps the thing I love most about technology is that when the proverbial ‘horse’ is ready to drink, there will be quality water waiting him or her.
We at The Hub wake up every day asking the Lord by His grace and power to help us be a key source of quality water whenever anyone in the world is ready to drink of Christ’s living water.
Thanks for listening…
Founder and President of The Hub
Marriage today is struggling. Divorces, adultery, misconceptions, etc are plaguing not only the marriage itself but products of those marriages (my generation and the next). My hope in this poem is to highlight the most frequent and problematic issues marriages face today while also pointing to Jesus as the ultimate healer, redeemer, and restorer of every marriage. Whether single or married, my intention would be that this poem would allow you to look more deeply to Jesus to either better your current marriage, or prepare for your future marriage.
Poem inspiration: http://realmarriagetour.com/
Book that inspired the poem: http://amzn.to/zdxCFv
Special-Edition iPad 2
The Real Marriage Tour kicks off this February with 7 tour stops, starting in Corona, California. To celebrate, we’ll be giving away a special-edition, Real Marriage iPad 2 preloaded with Pastor Mark’s entire sermon archive, thanks to Logos Bible Software, as well as the following ebooks, courtesy of Vyrso:
- Real Marriage
- Religion Saves
- Death by Love
- Vintage Church
- Vintage Jesus
- Church Leadership
- Who Is God?
- The New Testament
- The Power of Words and the Wonder of God
How To Win
To be entered to win you can fill out the Giveaway form over on the Real Marriage Tour Facebook page (you’re one-stop shop for all the updates on the RM Tour).
Here’s the best part: you have 7 chances to win, and the more you share, the more chances you’ll have to win. Each winner will be announced the Monday before each event. So,tell your friends on Twitter and Facebook about the contest and the Real Marriage Tour to up your chances for a free iPad 2.
The Hub is always looking to bring you the best Bible teaching and in 2012 we have some exciting new studies to complement the digital studies we already offer. We are partnering with leading publisher Zondervan to bring you The Reason for God by Tim Keller & Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas as well as many more. You can already download and watch bible studies from John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Tom Nelson and Nancy Guthrie. These studies are high quality digital format perfect for people on the go with iPhones, iPads or Android devices.
To pair with your Bible Study we have PDF of study guides available as well for just $1.99.
Also, be sure and check out this great opportunity to win a fully loaded iPad complete with Mark Driscoll’s sermons and books – Enter Now.
After reviewing the qualities of her husband as listed in Song of Solomon 5:10-16 Solomon’s wife concluded:
“He is altogether lovely. He is everything I want in a husband.”
God truly changed her heart, as her husband was kind in the face of wrong. In the light of her newly awakened awareness of all the good qualities in her husband, she had a strong desire to be the wife he longed to have.
The woman is a fine example of what God does in transforming a person’s attitude. First, she begins to see things in a new light. She begins to see the good that has escaped her before. She sees her mate as God sees her mate! When that happens, compassion rises in her heart. And in the wake of compassion, she feels a desire for renewed intimacy and closeness of communication.
My Question For You: Do you look at your mate through God’s eyes or through your own.
My Challenge For You: The next time you are working through conflict with your spouse, change the way you view your spouse and see how that changes things.
These are some of Solomon’s features that his wife called to her mind and praised (see Song of Solomon 5:10-13):
- He was pure in his motives and behaviors toward her. Repeatedly she referred to him as white, including white as ivory and white as marble.
- He was extremely handsome—more handsome even than ten-thousand other men combined.
- His head (in this case his mind) was filled with wisdom more valuable than gold.
- He was respected even though he was youthful. His hair was black, with no evidence of the weakness of age. Sin is often pictured in the Bible as the weakness of aging. (see Hosea 7:9.)
- He was gentle; his eyes were soft and tender toward her.
- He was sober. The whites of his eyes were white, not reddened by alcohol or debauched living.
- He had a steadfast gaze and clear outlook toward her. His eyes were “fitly set,” which means they were wide open and focused on her. He saw her, and her alone, among all other women. It is also a reference to the fact that Solomon did not have a shifty look in his eyes; his eyes did not narrow in anger or mistrust, they never openly flared in anger, and they were never bored into dullness. They were eyes of immutable kindness and unchanging blessing toward her.
- He was compassionate toward her. When he held her in his arms, cheek to cheek, there was a sweetness in his expression of love. When he kissed her, he did so tenderly and sweetly. He dealt with her in a forgiving, tender, romantic, and loving way at all times.
We’ll cover some more next week.
My Question For You:
Which of the qualities described above do you display to your spouse?
My Challenge For You:
Pick one of the qualities listed above that you need to work on and make an effort to exhibit to your spouse.
Let’s continue from last week’s discussion about Peter’s charge concerning how we act in conflict. Such an attitude and means of resolving conflict begin with how you individually choose to respond to a situation. Will you allow your hurt to linger, fester, and grow, or will you give it to the Lord, ask for His help in resolving the situation, and then speak to your spouse later in loving kindness and with a sure and sincere approach that can bring you to positive resolution?
We come to know in our marriages when we have hurt a spouse. There is a look in the eyes, a slumping of the shoulders, a slow walk away, or a spirit of dejection. I know immediately when I have hurt Teresa. Her eyes fill with tears and I know that—regardless of what has been said or done, and regardless of how “right” I might have been in what I did—I must ask her forgiveness first for hurting her. She knows how to read me equally well. And she knows that before she can ever get across her point of view, she is wise to ask forgiveness for hurting me. It is in this spirit of mutual forgiveness and a desire for mutual continuation of our relationship in love that conflicts are genuinely resolved, a torn relationship is mended, and difficulties are turned into paving stones for a stronger foundation.
My Question For You: What are the signs that your spouse displays when you have hurt them? What do you do when you notice them?
My Challenge For You: When you see these signs from your mate, make a conscious effort to seek forgiveness.
In 1 Peter 3:1, 3-4, 7-8, Peter taught:
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands…Do not let your adornment be merely outward…rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God…Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another.
Peter encouraged wives and husbands to deal with each other graciously and tenderly. A wife is to bear a gentle and quiet spirit in her discussions with her husband. A husband is to approach his wife as if she is as delicate as a china cup—which is what it means to regard a wife as a “weaker” vessel—recognizing that his bombastic tone and mannerisms can cause his wife to shrivel inside and to feel demeaned. Don’t hurt each other, Peter said. Have compassion for each other, and seek to have one mind—in other words, love each other until you reach a common point of agreement.
My Question For You: Husbands, do you treat your wife as a delicate china cup or do your actions cause her to feel demeaned?
My Challenge For You: Have compassion for your spouse when you are in a disagreement—it will serve you well.
A Continued Pursuit in Love
Continuing from last weeks thoughts, how do they square with my earlier advice that you not let certain things build up inside you until you feel an explosion coming on? Very easily. It is up to you to give weight to a situation or circumstance that you perceive to be a conflict. Some things are not worthy of emotional battles or open conflict. Other things that should be addressed need to be addressed in the right time and place, with the right attitude and goal. It is up to you to decide what really matters. Choose your areas for discussion and conflict resolution wisely.
Maintain your poise and composure when you feel hurt, rejected, or maligned by someone. Choose to take control over your attitude and to control the subsequent discussion of the issue with a tone of quietness and positive communication.
My Question For You: Do you keep your composure when you are wronged by someone or do you react without thinking?
My Challenge For You: Consider your attitude the next time you are in a situation that can turn into a conflict and try to determine if it is really worth it.
Solomon did not at first respond to his wife’s rejection in an angry way. He persisted in expressing his desire. At first he only called to her. She heard his voice. Then even after she had rejected him verbally, he reached out for her. His behavior did not mirror hers. He continued to pursue her in love.
Refuse to overreact or to react too quickly to what another person does or says. One person said to me, “My mother had a phrase, ‘let the river roll on for a while.’ We lived near a river, and I knew precisely what she meant. Some things are best left to float right on by because they are issues that are too little to warrant a fight.” You might have heard it said, “Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.” Same principle. Continue to pursue your relationship and your spouse with love. Don’t make big issues out of little ones. Proverbs 12:16 tells us, “A fool’s wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame.”
My Question For You: Do you react like Solomon did when you are rejected?
My Challenge For You: Can you react to your spouse in a way that “let’s the river roll on for a while” and then follow on in love?