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Tommy Nelson – Song of Solomon – Conflict Series Part IX

Conflict Series (Part 9): Resolution to Both Parties Feel Harmed

At the end of December, we were discussing how both Solomon and his bride were feeling wronged by a conflict they were having. This is the time when a conflict can most easily be resolved.

How? You can determine that you do not need to react as your mate has reacted. If your mate has hurt you, you do not need to hurt your mate. Whatever your mate has done to you, you do not need to respond in kind. The apostle Paul stated it this way: “See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.” (I Thess. 5:15)

You do not have to reciprocate or mirror what others do to you or say about you. Your mother probably taught this principle to you in the way my mother taught me: “Two wrongs do not make a right.”

Your response is subject to your will. You do not need to be hateful, angry, or cruel to a person who hurts you. You can respond with the love and patience of the Spirit of God rather than the revengeful and impatient spirit of man.

Strife begins at the point when you allow yourself to have hurt feelings and then you choose to nurse that hurt and wallow in it. Proverbs speaks often on this subject:

A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention. (Proverbs 15:18)

More next week on how to work through conflict.

My Question For You:

Is your first response when you are hurt to try and hurt your spouse back or do you respond with love and patience?

My Challenge For You:

Consider the wisdom from Proverbs above and be slow to anger – it will be to your benefit.

Want to watch the SOS Classic Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By hubadmin|February 3rd, 2010|Hub Thots, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson, Weekly Devos|1 Comment

My Top 10 Reasons for Philippians

Last year I was invited by The Hub (www.gotothehub.com) to pick a book of the Bible and teach it via video for small groups. I wrestled quite a bit and landed on the book of Philippians.

Here are the 10 reasons I wanted to teach the book of Philippians:

1. How the church began. Acts 16: Lydia is a wealthy Asian (Thyatira); the slave girl is an oppressed Greek, and the jailer was a middle class Roman. All were transformed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the diversity of that cast.

2. The book teaches that the gospel advances regardless of circumstance (Phil. 1:12-18). In an age where it is not uncommon to hear that you can put God into your debt by behaving, I thought this was extremely important.

3. Paul’s cry “To live is Christ and die is gain!” How could he not say that! Lydia was wealthy, religious, and empty; the slave girl was bitter, oppressed, and angry; and the Roman jailer was indifferent and cruel. All were lost in their lives. What else would you live for?

4. The book clearly teaches humility in the life of a believer. We can’t hear that topic enough (Philippians 2).

5. Paul ferociously outlines the reasons to pursue Christ (Phil. 3:1-11).

6. Then, he follows it up by teaching how to pursue Christ (Phil. 3:12-21).

7. Chapter 4 talks about what the heart and mind of a man of God look like. This is invaluable information as there seems to be some confusion on this matter.

8. Contentment is a gift more precious than jewels (Phil. 4:10-19).

9. It gave me a chance to remind everyone that Philippians 4:13 isn’t about playing sports, making the team, or being successful in business.

10. Because if I can help us be “the lights of this world holding fast to the word of life” I would humbly and gladly spend my life doing so.

Want to watch the Philippians Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By hubadmin|January 27th, 2010|Matt Chandler, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

Listen to Mark Driscoll Interview about Song of Solomon

On Thursday January 14th Mark Driscoll recorded a quick interview with Faith Radio Network. In this interview he discusses Love, Sex and Marriage and his upcoming conference in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Singles, Married and people who are Married with Children and want to learn how to talk to their children about sex should listen to Mark Driscoll’s Song of Solomon message.

“Marriage is for our happiness and our holiness.” – Mark Driscoll

Listen to the message for some great information and at the beginning of the podcast find out how to win a free trip to see Mark Driscoll in Minnesota.

By hubadmin|January 14th, 2010|Hub Thots, Mark Driscoll, Song of Solomon|0 Comments

Matt Chandler – Philippians: The Worthy Life

Employment evaluation with a supervisor is no one’s favorite. It is difficult to sit down toe-to-toe with him or her and hear whether or not you have measured up to expectations. It is easier to simply assume everything is OK, focus on your personal strengths, and never have anyone point out your blind spots.

It is easier, but it is not best.

Every so often it is helpful as an employee to evaluate if you are worth what they are paying you. It is healthy and appropriate to determine: are you worth it? Are you worthy of the paycheck you are receiving? Are the actions and results you produce in your daily job, worth what you are being paid?

If we would be doing that for something as silly and temporary as a job, why wouldn’t we do that with our faith? It should be a wonderful checkup for us to evaluate our lives, examine our hearts and see if we are living a life worthy of the gospel.

Are we?

Want the whole teaching series on Philippians for your next group study? You can either it buy it on DVD or rent/buy one session at a time with our exclusive digital delivery service. Click Here to Learn More. This topic is featured in Session 2 of Philippians.

By hubadmin|January 13th, 2010|Hub Thots, Matt Chandler, Weekly Devos|3 Comments

Philippians – Odd Beginnings

Ironically, in this study on Paul’s letter to the Philippians, we ask you first to open your Bible to…not Philippians. We start out this study of Philippians in the 16th chapter of the book of Acts. Allow me to illustrate why that would be.

Though I am not as avid a world-traveler as many, I have been on numerous national and international mission trips. When I get back home, I generally tell my friends and family only a little bit about the culture, the sights, the accommodations, and the travel itself, but I spend the majority of my time talking to anyone that will listen about the people.

My photo albums are not filled with pictures of the (often breathtaking) scenery, but I have scores of pictures of the people that I met while serving there. The individuals in the area are the reason I went in the first place. They are the topics that consume my
post-trip conversations and memories which I will keep with me for life. The most important thing about the mission trip is the people. It is the people that endear the city to our heart. The same is true for Paul and the Philippians.

On Paul’s second missionary journey (recorded in Acts 16), he spends time in Philippi. It is this experience in Philippi that sets the backdrop for the letter that he would write later to the Philippians. Before we study that letter we need to meet the people that Paul met. This first session introduces us to three people that Paul met in Philippi whose stories the Scriptures have preserved for us to study for centuries. Their stories and backgrounds could not possibly be any different.

Though every church has a somewhat unique story of its beginnings, none is as unique as Philippi, the first church in the history of all of Europe. The story is far from how you and I would start the Christian movement on a continent. But then, again, God is a touch smarter than we are. The birth of the church in Philippi is truly an odd and seemingly unadvisable way to start a church, but isn’t that just like God?

Let us hear from you.

What are some amazing stories of how God started the church you attend? What are some of those people’s stories who are in your church? Perhaps you are one of those stories?

Want the whole teaching series on Philippians for your next group study?

You can either it buy it on DVD or rent/buy one session at a time with our exclusive digital delivery service. This topic is featured in Session 1 of Philippians.

By hubadmin|January 6th, 2010|Matt Chandler|1 Comment

Conflict Series Part VIII: Both Parties Feel Harmed (continued)

Two weeks ago we left Solomon knocking at the door of his beloveds and where she was not letting him in. He persists in his expression of desire and longing for her:

My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh,
My fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone.
(Song 5:6)

By this point, Solomon had felt wronged from his wife’s rebuff. He didn’t break the door down or demand entrance. He reached out to her in sincerity and tenderness. The myrrh that he left on the latch was a symbol of sweetness. His attitude toward her was tender.

When he got no response, Solomon walked away. He no doubt felt rejected. He might very well have said under his breath, “Hey, I’m the king. I married you. I’ve loved you. I was working late tonight, I came to you in a loving manner, and look what I get. You have rejected me. I don’t deserve this response.”

Two persons feeling wronged—that’s the first part of any conflict. If only one person feels wronged and then thinks through the situation and concludes, “Actually I haven’t been all that wronged or hurt,” an argument or disagreement is not likely to occur. But when both spouses feel that a wrong has been done to them, conflict ensues.

At this stage of feeling wronged a conflict can be most easily resolved. We’ll discuss this more next week.

My Question For You: Was Solomon right in feeling rebuffed? Was his wife also correct in her feelings? Can both people be equally right in their feelings yet be on opposite sides of the disagreement?

My Challenge For You: When you feel rebuffed or wronged, consider the thoughts and feelings of your spouse to see how they might feel they are being wronged by you.

Miss some of this series? Find all of them here. These conflict devotionals are from the Song of Solomon DVD series by Tommy Nelson. Click here to for more details or to purchase this series.

By hubadmin|December 30th, 2009|Conflict, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson|1 Comment

Both Parties Feel Harmed: Conflict Series Part VII

Conflict occurs when both parties feel in some way wronged, denied, misunderstood, or unappreciated. We find a perfect example in the conflict between Solomon and his bride:

I sleep, but my heart is awake; It is the voice of my beloved!
He knocks, saying, “Open for me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one;
For my head is covered with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.”
(Song 5:2)

She speaks back in Song 5:3:
I have taken off my robe; How can I put it on again?
I have washed my feet; How can I defile them?

Solomon had been working late. After a long day in a hard world, he longed to come home to some tenderness and appreciation. She, on the other hand, had pretty much given up on his coming home at a reasonable hour and had gone to bed.

Keep in mind that in those days, a man and a woman often had different bedchambers so he was knocking on her door in hopes of joining her. Her response, in modern-day terms, might be, “I have a headache.” She says poetically, “Not tonight, I’ve already taken a bath and am in bed. Yet you want to have sex now?” They’re thoughts and desires are definitely not on the same page and they are set up for conflict.

We’ll see both of their reactions to this situation next week.

My Question For You: Are there any situations you face that you know will lead to conflict?

My Challenge For You: Conflict is inevitable. Are you willing to prepare for it and set yourself up to learn from it?

By hubadmin|December 17th, 2009|Conflict, Hub Thots|0 Comments

Pastor Jamie Hart Says Thanks

Here at The Hub we love to give gifts and we love to get feedback. Pastor Jamie Hart took a moment to say thanks before recording some thoughts on the Flip Mino Mini Video Camera that he won during our Flipping for Philippians promotion. We really enjoyed that promotion and we are happy to see that Jamie is enjoying his prize.

Watch his video below:

If you have won and want to share your video, please send them to eddie@gotothehub.com

Merry Christmas!

By hubadmin|December 16th, 2009|Hub Thots, Matt Chandler|2 Comments

Mark Driscoll Live in St. Paul and LA in 2010

Don’t miss out on this great opportunity to see Mark Driscoll Live in two cool cities. St. Paul, Minnesota or Los Angeles, California.

Click Here to Register

By hubadmin|December 13th, 2009|Hub Thots, Mark Driscoll|2 Comments

The Six Stages of Conflict

The inevitability of conflict is addressed in the Song of Solomon. Nearly two chapters are devoted to a “fight” between Solomon and his bride. The result of the conflict was a deeper and better marriage, and therefore, we are going to take a close look at the six stages of their conflict.

Stage One: Both Parties Feel Harmed
Stage Two: A Change of Heart
Stage Three: Reaching Out to Make Amends
Stage Four: Communication
Stage Five: Forgiveness
Stage Six: Greater Closeness and Joy

We’ll dive into each one of these stages over the coming weeks in order to gain a good understanding of how to handle conflict.

My Question For You: Are you currently experiencing conflict in your relationship? Is it based on a new problem or something that has been lingering?

My Challenge For You: Think about all the important relationships in your life. Is there any current or unresolved conflict that you need to see resolved?

Leave us your feedback below.

By hubadmin|December 9th, 2009|Conflict, Hub Thots, Tommy Nelson|1 Comment

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