Tommy Nelson – Submission

One of the most effective responses I’ve ever heard given to a husband who erred in his behavior was one that a wife gave after hearing a sermon about Jesus and Pilate. Pilate said to Jesus, “Do you not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?” Jesus replied, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:10-11). From that moment on, Pilate sought to find a way to release Jesus because he recognized that he, indeed, was under God’s authority.

This young woman said to me, “When my husband makes a decision or embarks on an activity that I know is wrong, I just say to him, ‘Do what you want. You are under God’s authority, and I trust God to deal with you.’”. That’s called submission with a wallop to it! The truth remains, however. All of us are under the authority of someone, and in the marriage chain of command, a husband is under the authority of God. A wife is wise to trust God to manifest His authority in her husband’s life rather than to attempt to take on that role for herself.

My Question For You: How do you feel about submission?

My Challenge For You: We all have to submit to someone, so be wise when people submit to you or you submit to someone else.

Want to watch the SOS Tommy Nelson Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |May 11th, 2010|Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

Tommy Nelson – Why Revenge is a Bad Idea

I heard a priceless story about revenge one time. A woman asked her husband one morning to zip up the back of her dress. He began to play around with the zipper in a flirtatious way—zipping it up and down, up and down—and in the process, the zipper broke. She had just had the dress dry-cleaned and was late for a meeting, and there she stood with a “broken” dress. She was furious.

About 5:30 that evening, she returned home, still angry over her husband’s behavior that morning. She found her husband working on his car, lying underneath the car from his waist up, the lower part of his body sticking out and temptingly accessible. He didn’t seem to hear her as she approached, so she reached down and grabbed the zipper on the front of his jeans and began to zip it up and down just as he had done with her dress that morning. Then she walked into the house.

To her astonishment, her husband was standing in the kitchen. She said, “What are you doing in here?” He said, “What do you mean? It’s our kitchen.”

She said, “You were under the car just two seconds ago.”

“No,” he said, “I haven’t been under the car at all.”

“Well, who is out there in our garage working under your car?”

“It’s the next-door neighbor,” he said. “The muffler was coming off and he volunteered to fix it, so I told him I’d really appreciate his help and I came in here to fix a glass of tea for him when he’s finished.”

His wife went pale as a white sheet. She admitted to her husband what she had done, and they both hurried out to apologize to the man. They found the guy lying totally still. He didn’t respond to their calls, so they pulled him out from under the car by his legs. When he came to, they discovered that he had done what any man would have done if someone suddenly grabbed the zipper to his pants. He sat straight up, and bam, he hit his head on the underside of the car with such force that he knocked himself out!

All acts of revenge need to be left to God. Strange and terrible things can happen when you take retaliation and vengeance into your hands, and none of them are good.

My Question For You: Do you ever want to exact revenge on your spouse for their actions? Has it ever gotten you into trouble?

My Challenge For You: Don’t let revenge even cross your mind when it comes to your spouse.

By |May 5th, 2010|Conflict, Tommy Nelson|1 Comment

Ask God to Make a Change

There was no manipulation whatsoever in the scene in Song of Solomon 5:6-8.  There was no bargaining—“you do this for me and I’ll do that for you.”  Bargaining results in manipulation, not ministry.

A woman asked me after I had presented the information in this chapter, “If I can’t leave him, can I kill him?  No, you can’t do that either!

But you can continue to love your spouse and to pray for your spouse.  Ask God to do what you cannot do, and that is to change the human heart and transform the human mind.

State what you feel you must state, make whatever requests you believe are right to make, put forth your case as best you can make it, but don’t attempt to force a change in your mate.  Leave that up to God.

My Question For You: Is there something that you want to change in your spouse (or maybe something your spouse wants to change in you)?

My Challenge For You: Leave the changing part up to God.

Want to watch the SOS Tommy Nelson Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |April 28th, 2010|Conflict, Tommy Nelson|2 Comments

Live Webcast Featuring Tommy Nelson – Overcoming Depression

Tommy is doing a live webcast on “Overcoming Depression” with Focus on the Family on Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 1:00 p.m. CST. To view it, go to

If you go to, you’ll see a green circle that says “Your Family Live.” That will take you there too. You can watch it live, or if you wait until about 3:30 MT, it’ll be archived on the Focus on the Family website.

Then, on Thursday, May 6, 2010, the National Day of Prayer, Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson will be broadcasting Tommy’s “America: The Grand Idea.” Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson is broadcast locally on Dallas/Greenville 90.5 KTXG-FM at 6:30 a.m.

If you are not familiar with Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson, it is a new ministry of Dr. and Mrs. Dobson that makes its broadcast debut on Monday, May 3rd. You can find out more information on their website at

By |April 27th, 2010|Tommy Nelson|0 Comments

When Teasing Goes Bad

Early in our marriage, my wife was lying in bed one morning, and I said, “Teresa, get up and fix me some breakfast!”  I was teasing her, but my words didn’t exactly come out in the teasing way that I meant for them to sound.  At the same time I spoke those words, I picked up a metric stick that I owned, a four-sided stick with a steel border on one side, and I cracked that stick down on what I thought was a lump in the sheets.  It was my wife’s leg!  I had hit her hard.  I saw her eyes puddle up with tears of pain, and I immediately fled to the kitchen in contrition, determined to serve my wife breakfast in bed!

I popped the top off the orange juice container, and in my hurry to make amends for my bad behavior; I poured orange juice down my front.  At that point, Teresa walked into the kitchen, and I turned toward her, covered in orange juice and said, “You prayed for that.”  She sweetly said, “Come here, Sweetheart,” inviting me for a comforting hug, but as I turned toward her, I hit my head on the corner of the cabinet, and suddenly there was blood trickling down from my forehead and mingling with the spilled orange juice.  I was a mess.

Did I ever again attempt to tease my wife about fixing my breakfast, using a metric stick to emphasize my point?  No way.  For her part, Teresa was kind enough never to bring up the matter again.  She knew God had dealt with me in a better way than she ever could have.

My Question For You:

Has something similar to this ever happened to you?  Were you the teaser or the teased?

My Challenge For You:

Consider what you say wisely when you decide to tease!

Want to watch the SOS Tommy Nelson Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |April 21st, 2010|Conflict, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson|0 Comments

Don't Nag

No matter how you feel the Lord prompting you to respond to a conflict, you should feel remorse that any type of conflict has occurred.  You are to lament the fact that the marriage relationship has suffered an injury, regardless of what happened or who was responsible for initiating the conflict.  The woman felt the full sting and pain of what she had done (see Song 5:6-8).

Solomon did not inflict the pain upon her; it was the “watchmen,” the faithful guardians of God’s people.  If your spouse wrongs you, give God some time to work in your mate’s heart.  Let God have an opportunity to deal with the conscience of your spouse.  Your role is not to have that of the Holy Spirit in your spouse’s life.  My role as a husband is to teach my wife what I know to be true, love her tenderly, care for her, and provide for her all that she needs, but I am not her Savior, her divine Spirit of truth, or her Comforter and Counselor.  Only the Lord can fill those roles.

I have counseled many couples in which either the husband or the wife continually nags the other about what the other does wrong before the Lord.  These beleaguered nagged spouses can’t hear the voice of the Lord because the spouse is talking so loudly!  They feel manipulated, put upon, and downtrodden.  My advice to the nagging spouse is to keep quiet and let God work.  It’s amazing how God moves into a person’s life.  Truly His ways are higher than man’s ways, and His methods are not only very creative but extremely effective!

My Question For You: Has nagging broken in to your relationship?  Are you the nag or are you being nagged?  How do you feel about that?

My Challenge For You: Don’t nag.  It surely won’t help your relationship.  Let the Holy Spirit work.

Want to watch the SOS Tommy Nelson Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |April 14th, 2010|Tommy Nelson, Weekly Devos|0 Comments

A Continued Pursuit in Love (Part 3)

In 1 Peter 3:1, 3-4, 7-8, Peter taught:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands…Do not let your adornment be merely outward…rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God…Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.  Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another.

Peter encouraged wives and husbands to deal with each other graciously and tenderly.  A wife is to bear a gentle and quiet spirit in her discussions with her husband.  A husband is to approach his wife as if she is as delicate as a china cup—which is what it means to regard a wife as a “weaker” vessel—recognizing that his bombastic tone and mannerisms can cause his wife to shrivel inside and to feel demeaned.  Don’t hurt each other, Peter said.  Have compassion for each other, and seek to have one mind—in other words, love each other until you reach a common point of agreement.

My Question For You: Husbands, do you treat your wife as a delicate china cup or do your actions cause her to feel demeaned?

My Challenge For You: Have compassion for your spouse when you are in a disagreement—it will serve you well.

By |March 17th, 2010|Conflict, Hub Thots, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson|0 Comments

A Continued Pursuit in Love (continued)

A Continued Pursuit in Love

Continuing from last weeks thoughts, how do they square with my earlier advice that you not let certain things build up inside you until you feel an explosion coming on? Very easily. It is up to you to give weight to a situation or circumstance that you perceive to be a conflict. Some things are not worthy of emotional battles or open conflict. Other things that should be addressed need to be addressed in the right time and place, with the right attitude and goal. It is up to you to decide what really matters. Choose your areas for discussion and conflict resolution wisely.

Maintain your poise and composure when you feel hurt, rejected, or maligned by someone. Choose to take control over your attitude and to control the subsequent discussion of the issue with a tone of quietness and positive communication.

My Question For You: Do you keep your composure when you are wronged by someone or do you react without thinking?

My Challenge For You: Consider your attitude the next time you are in a situation that can turn into a conflict and try to determine if it is really worth it.

Want to watch the SOS Classic Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

Tommy Nelson – Song of Solomon – Conflict Series Part IX

Conflict Series (Part 9): Resolution to Both Parties Feel Harmed

At the end of December, we were discussing how both Solomon and his bride were feeling wronged by a conflict they were having. This is the time when a conflict can most easily be resolved.

How? You can determine that you do not need to react as your mate has reacted. If your mate has hurt you, you do not need to hurt your mate. Whatever your mate has done to you, you do not need to respond in kind. The apostle Paul stated it this way: “See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.” (I Thess. 5:15)

You do not have to reciprocate or mirror what others do to you or say about you. Your mother probably taught this principle to you in the way my mother taught me: “Two wrongs do not make a right.”

Your response is subject to your will. You do not need to be hateful, angry, or cruel to a person who hurts you. You can respond with the love and patience of the Spirit of God rather than the revengeful and impatient spirit of man.

Strife begins at the point when you allow yourself to have hurt feelings and then you choose to nurse that hurt and wallow in it. Proverbs speaks often on this subject:

A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger allays contention. (Proverbs 15:18)

More next week on how to work through conflict.

My Question For You:

Is your first response when you are hurt to try and hurt your spouse back or do you respond with love and patience?

My Challenge For You:

Consider the wisdom from Proverbs above and be slow to anger – it will be to your benefit.

Want to watch the SOS Classic Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |February 3rd, 2010|Hub Thots, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson, Weekly Devos|1 Comment

I got to find something for our small group now!

I love to play basketball. The nice thing about being in your 40’s, I am currently 43, is that I am finally getting over the fact that I am a mediocre bball player and have given up the dream that I am actually better than I am. You could say it has taken me a bit too long, but finally, expectations have met reality.

Anyone else out there relate? If not, then you either played at a D-1 college, that means big and good school, or maybe one of you actually played on TV.

Well after playing in what we call our ASL, that stands for All Suck League, (I hope that does not offend anyone, but it’s the best description for our level of play) last night, we had an awesome discussion about church, Bible preaching, small groups, music and worship trends. It was a lively, inspiring and encouraging conversation.

Two of the guys began asking me more about The Hub and who is our market and what do we do. As I shared with them that our passion is to walk closely through the Bible and to share tools that have a long shelf life becuase they focus on the meat and potatoes of the 66 books of scripture, one of the guys said, “have you ever heard of J. Vernon Mgee?”( I said, you do know that he died more than 20 years ago, right?  God is using J. Vernon perhaps more today than when he was alive.  Why? Why do you think?

My opinion is that his teaching was ‘through the Bible’ and at the end of the day, if you want to know God and His love and will for your life, you must and will end up in His Word, the Bible.

These two young guys said, “Hey, this stuff would be perfect for our guys group.  So often we never know what to study or what to go through for our time together.  This way, we can have sweet Bible teaching from an amazing communicator, we will know that it is accurate, inspiring and challenging and we can still have our sweet discussion time with the questions from the guide.”

Exactly!  The Hub exists for church and parachurch leaders, home groups and anyone who wants to engage in spiritual growing through the Bible whether in a group, or at home, in your own personal study.

And, with the digtial downloads and the ability to rent many of our resources now you and your group can access these resources for about $4 or $5 per session.

So, get your fellers together and have a Hoops & Bible night.  Now that’s getting it done!


By |January 5th, 2010|Hub Thots, Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, Tommy Nelson|0 Comments