Two weeks ago we left Solomon knocking at the door of his beloveds and where she was not letting him in. He persists in his expression of desire and longing for her:
My beloved put his hand by the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him. I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh,
My fingers with liquid myrrh, on the handles of the lock. I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone.
By this point, Solomon had felt wronged from his wife’s rebuff. He didn’t break the door down or demand entrance. He reached out to her in sincerity and tenderness. The myrrh that he left on the latch was a symbol of sweetness. His attitude toward her was tender.
When he got no response, Solomon walked away. He no doubt felt rejected. He might very well have said under his breath, “Hey, I’m the king. I married you. I’ve loved you. I was working late tonight, I came to you in a loving manner, and look what I get. You have rejected me. I don’t deserve this response.”
Two persons feeling wronged—that’s the first part of any conflict. If only one person feels wronged and then thinks through the situation and concludes, “Actually I haven’t been all that wronged or hurt,” an argument or disagreement is not likely to occur. But when both spouses feel that a wrong has been done to them, conflict ensues.
At this stage of feeling wronged a conflict can be most easily resolved. We’ll discuss this more next week.
My Question For You: Was Solomon right in feeling rebuffed? Was his wife also correct in her feelings? Can both people be equally right in their feelings yet be on opposite sides of the disagreement?
My Challenge For You: When you feel rebuffed or wronged, consider the thoughts and feelings of your spouse to see how they might feel they are being wronged by you.