Enjoy this Free Session from Song of Solomon with Tommy Nelson

In this beloved study, Tommy Nelson looks to Song of Solomon to show us that how you handle romantic relationships will change you, for better or for worse.

Used and loved throughout the world, the Song of Solomon series with pastor Tommy Nelson teaches the Biblical design for relationships. For both singles and married couples, this exegetical study follows Solomon’s relationship from attraction to dating and courtship, marriage and intimacy, to resolving conflict, keeping romance alive, and committing to the end.

In Session One, “The Art of Attraction,” Nelson helps us see that beauty that’s only skin deep will not produce deep love. Whether looking for a spouse or loving a spouse, we will learn that what’s attractive in God’s mind increases over time, focuses on internal characteristics, and can be attained by anyone.

Use this Free Session for personal reflection or for group discussion as you look to God’s best for love, marriage, sex and romance.

Head to The Hub Store to access all 12 sessions and the highly-practical study guide.

By |February 10th, 2017|Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson|0 Comments

The Response to Her Husband

After reviewing the qualities of her husband as listed in Song of Solomon 5:10-16 Solomon’s wife concluded:

“He is altogether lovely.  He is everything I want in a husband.”

God truly changed her heart, as her husband was kind in the face of wrong.  In the light of her newly awakened awareness of all the good qualities in her husband, she had a strong desire to be the wife he longed to have.

The woman is a fine example of what God does in transforming a person’s attitude.  First, she begins to see things in a new light.  She begins to see the good that has escaped her before.  She sees her mate as God sees her mate!  When that happens, compassion rises in her heart.  And in the wake of compassion, she feels a desire for renewed intimacy and closeness of communication.

My Question For You: Do you look at your mate through God’s eyes or through your own.

My Challenge For You: The next time you are working through conflict with your spouse, change the way you view your spouse and see how that changes things.

Want to watch the SOS Tommy Nelson Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

By |June 3rd, 2010|Hub Thots, Song of Solomon, Tommy Nelson|0 Comments

A Continued Pursuit in Love (continued)

A Continued Pursuit in Love

Continuing from last weeks thoughts, how do they square with my earlier advice that you not let certain things build up inside you until you feel an explosion coming on? Very easily. It is up to you to give weight to a situation or circumstance that you perceive to be a conflict. Some things are not worthy of emotional battles or open conflict. Other things that should be addressed need to be addressed in the right time and place, with the right attitude and goal. It is up to you to decide what really matters. Choose your areas for discussion and conflict resolution wisely.

Maintain your poise and composure when you feel hurt, rejected, or maligned by someone. Choose to take control over your attitude and to control the subsequent discussion of the issue with a tone of quietness and positive communication.

My Question For You: Do you keep your composure when you are wronged by someone or do you react without thinking?

My Challenge For You: Consider your attitude the next time you are in a situation that can turn into a conflict and try to determine if it is really worth it.

Want to watch the SOS Classic Study? You can buy the DVD Series here or Rent one Session at a Time here.

God's Love in The City of Angels

On Valentine’s Day in LA  there were two premieres: The Valentine’s Day movie and Truth According to God on Love, Sex, and Marriage. In downtown LA on Broadway, the heart of culture influencing media, the gospel of Jesus Christ and His design for romantic relationships was communicated.

Pastor Mark Driscoll shared from the Bible, his heart, and his experience as a pastor on how God is the creator of our bodies and souls and just how messed up our lives can get when we try and figure out sex and marriage on our own.  If we base our lives on the world’s advice, or anything other than Christ and His Word, true fulfillment in relationships and sex will never be ours.  Sex is good, not gross. Sex is pure in the sight of God and encouraged by his very direct words in Song of Solomon: “Drink friends and imbibe deeply.”

Marriage between one woman and one man is greatness, and it takes a lot of work.  A poignant quote from Pastor Mark to the women: “Single ladies, if he will not work to get you, what makes you think he will work to keep you?”

Most men want the ladies to do all the work, or perhaps the man is willing to work to get her, but then he says, “I got her, now it is back to my career.”

The underlying theme throughout the day can be summed up in these two lines: God is the author and creator of life, sexuality and marriage, not the world, so stop looking to others who are just as flawed as we are.

Secondly, in marriage, be a Servant Lover.  Marriage is based upon unselfishness.  Therefore, in sexuality, in money, in raising kids, in all areas, be a servant.  If you will by God’s strength and power set out to be a servant lover, chances are you will be just as fulfilled as your spouse who you have been faithfully loving and serving.

God is with you in your situation no matter what the cirucumstances look like at this very moment.  There is hope and there is redemption for Los Angeles  and the world.

By |February 17th, 2010|Hub Thots, Live Events, Mark Driscoll, Song of Solomon|2 Comments

Tommy Nelson – SOS – Sharing your Feelings During Conflict

Last week we left our discussion with being slow to anger and not reacting like the person who has hurt you so that you resolve your conflict.  Maybe you are saying, “But you said previously, Tommy, that I should not stifle my feelings and that I should express them freely in my marriage.”  That’s absolutely correct, but how and when you express your feelings, and with what underlying motive and attitude, are very important.

Express yourself, yes, but wait until your emotional temperature has cooled.  Be proactive and intentional, not reactive and instinctual, in expressing your feelings.  Wait until the one who has hurt you also has cooled off or is in a good frame of mind to hear what you have to say.  Every person I know can do a better job of keeping a cool head and choosing at all times to respond as Christ would respond.  It’s tough to do, but it’s what we as Christians are called and challenged by God to do.

I know people who have grown up in homes where passive-aggressive behavior was the norm.  That’s behavior in which a person is warm and loving one minute, and the next minute, the person is ice cold or hateful.

Such behavior does not need to occur.  Conflict can be resolved at this very first stage if one of the persons in the relationship will be mature enough to sit back, analyze and pray about the situation, and make a measured response that is loving, kind, and aimed at a greater positive in the future.

My Question For You: When you are responding to your mate during a time of conflict, is it in the heat of the moment, or do you take time to cool off and think about your response?

My Challenge For You: Are you willing to act as God wants you to during times of conflict by showing love, kindness, and seeking to positive resolution?

You can rent or buy the Song of Solomon and other Bible Studies by Tommy Nelson, Mark Driscoll, and Matt Chandler and watch them online starting as low as $4.99 per session.

By |February 10th, 2010|Conflict, Weekly Devos|1 Comment

Romance, Relationships & Religion

Guess what? These 3 words are in the top 50 of all internet topics being blogged about, searched for on Google, Youtube, podcast, and any other traditional or new communication method.

My question for you is simple. Why? Why do we have more access to information than we have ever had before and yet the core issues, Romance and Relationships, Religion, Politics and Money?

Are you content with how much money you have/make?  Was your childhood with religion a positive or negative thing?  Did you judge others in your home or did you feel judged?  Was your home a happy place with a mom and dad who had a good, healthy, kind relationship and therefore home?  Or was your home icey cold, volatile hot, or just empty?

Ever wondered why these issues get our blood boiling and minds moving?  It’s quite simple.  God!

He created us with the desire and capacity to share, experience and enjoy romantic relationships.  He created the desire within man/woman to create, work, design, build, grow and therefore earn a way to provide for ourselves and family units.  He created us in His Image and therefore to have freedom, responsibility, community, and safety.

So, it is God who has created and given us the desire and need for Romance, Relationships and Religion (I will define this as the need for a personal relationship with God, everyone’s Creator).

Am I saying it is as simple as belief in God will solve all Romance, Relationship and Religious issues?  No.  I am saying that trust and belief in The One who made us is the source to find fulfillment in all these areas and the source of strength and courage to work through our differences.

These issues will always been in the TOP 10 of internet, magazine, newspaper, blogs, or whatever form of communication our God given minds will create.  Because, until we stop searching the internet, magazines, newspapers, blogs, or whatever form of information our God given minds develop and start searching His Written Word, The Bible and pray for His best in the areas of Romance, Relationships and Religion, there will always be turmoil in our lives and therefore our world.

God is with us – thank goodness.  Happy New Year from The Hub.

By |December 30th, 2009|Hub Thots, Tuesday's with Doug|0 Comments

8 Ways to Thrive (not die) with Family

As we continue our series on conflict, what an opportunity many of us will have this Christmas. 🙂 Yes, we all know family is a blessing and wonderful, but quite honestly, most of us know it can be very stressful as well.

Here are a couple of reminders as we enter what should be restful, sweet, good, memory making times.

1. Take a deep breath – Is what your mother, brother, or sister-n-law said, or going to say really worth ruining the sweet time you have? I know that words are extremely powerful, but for many of us, we need to learn how to ‘give them less power.’

2. Watch your tongue – As you have heard and will hear many times, An OUNCE of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If most of us would just take a deep breath, relaxe ONE moment before we speak, we would either say less damaging things or when someone says something Potentially damaging to us, we choose not to react.

3. Stop thinking of the past all the time. This is huge in family. Whenever someone in our family makes a comment to us, we see it in light of the previous 20, 35, or 50 years. It’s time to forget some of that (I know it’s hard, but it’s necessary). A short memory can be quite helpful in these situations.

4. If your comment does not build someone up, then keep it to yourself. Many times in family, we think it is our job to ‘share all the difficult stuff.’ You know what, unless you have an active, ongoing, close relationship with a family member, chances are ‘more critique’, or ‘less positive’ opinions should be shared by a person’s friend, not a family member.

5. Unsolicited advise is almost always received as criticism, not help.

6. We only have a few days together. Let’s be friends:) Friendships are positive. Let’s let our family times be positive.

7. Christmas is about Christ’s generosity of Spirit, not a spirit of negative, stress, hurt, history. If we will slow down enough to get the right perspective on our eyeballs, then He will gives us what we need to make it much more enjoyable.

8. Don’t stay too long!  Proverbs says,’Don’t stay too long in your brother’s house.’  That’s from the wisest man who ever lived.  Amen.

Remember this week, God is with you.

Merry Christmas from all of us here at The Hub!

By |December 22nd, 2009|Conflict, Hub Thots|2 Comments

God is with Matt Chandler

Friends, we have been praying for Matt Chandler, friend of The Hub and Pastor of The Village Church in Dallas, TX. The pathology report is back and the tumor was malignant and they were not able to remove it all. For a full report from The Village, go here.

This is very difficult. For Matt, Lauren, their kids, family and for The Village. Not in my life have I seen God raise up so much love for a preacher in such a short time than I have with Matt.

It is a must that we bend our knees, hearts and minds and look only at Jesus. This does not and will not make sense to our human mind. We are not able to comprehend this kind of pain and suffering.

Do we bend our knees, hearts and mind with hope? Absolutely! As Paul says in Romans, we do not grieve as those without hope.

Matt, family, and The Village, those of us who have been blessed by God using you and His gifts He gave you to teach, we commit to pray for you all.

We will pray for physical healing. We will pray for Christ to be made known around the world so that many others will experience spiritual and eternal healing through this struggle.

It is not our way, but God’s ways are trustworthy, for He is the only true Trustworthy one.

God is with you, and us.

By |December 16th, 2009|Hub Thots, Matt Chandler, Tuesday's with Doug|2 Comments

Who's on First?

In response to Caryn’s question: Caryn and her husband just had their first child and are now struggling with connecting physically, emotionally and spiritually. Her final comment/question is: Is it possible to still be madly in love with your spouse and enjoy being parents?

Caryn, YES! Guess what’s next…WORK.

First things first. I think you need to slow down a bit, step back and let some things simmer down. I have not given birth (surprise) but my wife Carrie has three times. It is wonderful and can be very stressful. Hormones, no sleep, new things, things you don’t know how to work, no sleep, new financial opportunities:), who is going to wake up at 2:45 a.m., no sleep, hormones. A lot of Change!

There is also a ton of sweet sounds, holding a baby on your chest and taking a nap, watching them sleep, letting their little finger wrap around yours, watching their eyes open, emotionally and spiritually connecting with them, taking a nap with your baby on your chest (I know I already said that, but since I said no sleep a lot in the other paragraph, need to say how sweet those naps are).  A lot of Goodness.

Caryn, and others, during this time of wonderful, but massive change, we need not to become anxious, paranoid, or rush to judgments about one another. Certainly you and your husband are realizing that if you thought marriage took sacrifice, having a baby is like the ultimate mirror to reflect our selfishness.

“I am tired and I have to get sleep or I can’t do my job at work well.” “Well, I just gave birth to your son (daughter) and I have not slept for days and have this precious little one on my side 24/7 and I need help.”  Was it Mark Twain (not sure) that said, ‘this is why God gives children to the young.'”

I would suggest you and your husband find a few quiet minutes and share your honest, heartfelt feelings. Share with him your concern over your body and its changes. Share with him your sense of missing him, your tiredness and energy.  Share with him the sense of loss of losing your best friend and the separation you are feeling.  Share with him your desire for him and to not lose that intimacy and your willingness to fight for him.

For the husbands out there, intimacy will return. But, this is why it is called intimacy in marriage and not sex, because it requires courage, honesty, sacrifice, commitment. Then, when you each get a bit of rest, you have unselfishly helped each with the responsibilities in the home, and then you come together in intimacy, now you have something worth fighting for! Now that is two souls coming together, and not two bodies.

Caryn, pray for the conversation, offer the results to God (your husband may not respond perfectly to the first conversation) but be kind and wise about your timing, but be direct and courageous.

This is one of the forks in the road where as things get more complicated in marriage, we must fight diligently to “keep falling in love” with the best friend that we chose and God lead us to.

God is with you, be strong!

By |December 15th, 2009|Hub Thots, Tuesday's with Doug|0 Comments

I am weak. He is strong.

Friends,

Our dear friend Matt Chandler is in a fight. For those of you who don’t know, here is the link to The Village Church website to get the latest updates.

Matt is a friend and the teacher of our brand new series on Philippians. The title of his series is the epic verse in Philippians, To Live is Christ and to Die is Gain.  Clearly a description for the journey Matt is on right now and of course it is the description for everyone of our lives.  The one major difference for Matt at this time in his life, is that he is clearly aware of his mortality and as he has said in his own words, “God is sovereign.”   For many of us…we still live in the land of ‘life is pretty good and may last forever.’

This is one of the most amazing journey’s I can only imagine and it is evident that God’s truth, love and grace are absolutely sustaining Matt and his family. When you watch this video of him just a day or so before brain surgery and you read his blog post, it is clear that as Matt’s body is weak, Christ is (of course) being made so real and strong.  God is giving Matt tremendous courage and He is being made STRONG in Matt.

I am grateful that in Matt’s blog and video there is clear evidence of real/honest/true emotions: tears, fear, questions – but  it is even more obvious the trust, belief, hope, confidence in Things Not Seen – but Things That Are Certain.

God, we wish it was not this way, that pain, awful struggle like Matt and his family are experiencing, are ways that we see your overwhelming love, power and peace, but it is clearly evident in Matt’s countenance and words.

God, we join with millions to pray. Please heal Matt. But we agree with Matt that your will be done and that through whatever struggle someone reading this might have, how great or how small, as we are found weak, we will trust you more because in those moments you are made strong.

Matt and Lauren, God is with you.

By |December 8th, 2009|Hub Thots, Matt Chandler|1 Comment