This is where we will categorize our general blog posts.
Tommy Nelson – Conflict Denied
Conflict Denied: Conflict Series Part III
Newly married couples need to expect conflict, although I am not advocating that they should look for it. Picking a fight just for the sake of having a fight is not the goal. At the same time, a husband or wife should never shy away from conflict in a spirit of denial—either denying oneself full expression of opinions and ideas, or denying that certain situations within the marriage need resolution, repair, or readdressing. Those who live in denial live in a false peace.
It is far better to get differences of opinion out in the open than to keep them stuffed inside for the sake of perceived peace. Such peace is going to be fragile. Feelings of anger and hurt are likely to go underground and build to an explosion point at a later time. Too much pent-up emotion related to any issue can cause a situation to be blown far beyond the proportions warranted by the initial behavior or circumstance.
One person I know said this about his marriage of twenty-five years to a wife he adores: “Neither of us is good at silence. We vent our feelings frequently. We are quick to state our opinions and quick to resolve our differences. We don’t let anything negative brew and build between us. If we ever let things build up in us over time, we’d likely blow ourselves up in the process of blowing off steam.”
In my opinion, this couple has a very healthy attitude toward conflict.
My Question For You:
Do you express your feelings, opinions and ideas to your mate, even when they are difficult, or do you hold them inside?
My Challenge For You:
Make your relationship a safe place for both you and your mate to discuss your feelings, both good and bad.
Share your thoughts with us here.
Welcome…
To those of you who were recently added to our mailing list we want to say Welcome. Many new additions are from our recent conferences in Austin – Hello Austin!
If you missed the first two devotionals on conflict, read them here:
Not Right Now
The Austin Worth The Wait was an amazing success thanks to God and His Best for love, dating and sex.
With leadership from Jon Moton, Lara Baliff, speakers, Goodie Goodloe and John Wills, this most amazing love story of how a man and woman should meet, date and when and how to enjoy intimacy was told.
There were over 800 students and 400 parents. That’s what I would call a room full of lives that now have heard the truth straight from God’s heart on these issues.
One of the strongest concepts that stems from Song of Solomon and that Goodie talked about is this: Sex is good, it is Godly, it is right, but it is “Not Now” or “Not Yet” for those who are not married. God is For Sex, He is for Sex between a husband and a wife.
Here is what one person said about the teaching: “”Not right now, but maybe”. You helped me
make my decision last night that I will be waiting until marriage for sex. I want it to be something special. I am so glad that I
attended the conference..”
So, thanks to Hill Country Bible and all the volunteers for your amazing support of God’s Word and Worth The Wait.
Austin is a Hit
This Sunday night in Austin there will be a 1000 students and parents learning God’s design and plan for love, dating, marriage and sex. That is fantastic.
We have talked to so many parents on the phone these past couple of weeks who have signed up themselves and their teenage kids and most have a similar theme, “I don’t want my kids to have to go through what I have gone through in this area.”
We are so thrilled for the opportunity to begin to shape young minds and to teach young men and women from the beginning of their ‘romantic life’ that this area is God’s – not the worlds!
Most teenagers grow up thinking sex is dirty and maybe fun, that it is free to do with anyone at anytime, and then as they would experiment they begin to feel the pain and scar tissue from this lack of truth.
If you live in the Austin region, don’t miss out. We still have room for you and your students.
Doors open at 5:00 p.m. and the event begins at 5:30 p.m. and ends at 9:00 p.m.
Let Worth the Wait in Austin get the conversation started with you and your kids.
Tommy Nelson – Every Marriage Has a Conflict
Conflict – Part 2
No marriage is without conflict. Frankly, a marriage without any conflict would be very boring. There likely would be a lack of deep or meaningful communication.
Such a marriage might as well be a butler married to a maid, each of whom is reluctant to express his or her personality, dreams, desires, goals, or spiritual giftedness.
A truly vibrant marriage is going to be marked by discussion—at times lively. Healthy disagreements arise naturally because both individuals maintain their unique perspectives, ideas, and opinions. Debate is common about which course of action to take, since each person has individual preferences and reasons for holding them.
Discussion, disagreement, and debate, however, do not need to degenerate into a cold war or an ongoing atmosphere of dispute. Discussions should reach a conclusion, disagreements should resolve into agreement, and debates should come to a decisive course of action. Marriages without conflict aren’t healthy and growing.
All married couples, therefore, face the challenge of learning to fight clean and fair, with a positive outcome that is genuinely harmonious, not merely strained and silent.
My Question For You:
Is your relationship characterized by discussions, disagreements, and debates?
My Challenge For You:
Seek to have conclusions to your discussions, agreements out of your disagreements, and a course of action derived from your debates.
These devotionals are from the Song of Solomon series by Tommy Nelson. For more info on that series click here.
Free Download of Ecclesiastes
Whether you are at the top of your world, or have just recently heard the worst news of your life, this study will level the playing field.
It can be said that no other study by Tommy Nelson captures the essence of life, nor gives insight into how God taught Tommy to navigate through the toughest part of his journey.
Click Here to download a free copy of Session 7.
Use: CERT-257-0-201602923016756132
Tommy Nelson: Are you Pressing for a Victory or Resolution?
Conflict
Back in the early 1980s, my wife, Teresa, and I were in Oklahoma City where I had been invited to conduct a wedding ceremony. The morning after the wedding, I went out for a jog. It was hot and humid, and by the time I finished my run, my t-shirt was soaked with sweat. I came back into our motel room, stripped off my t-shirt, and threw it in a nearby paper bag—which is obviously where I thought such a garment ought to go. My wife reacted instantly without thinking.
She whopped me with her hand on across the middle of my back and said, “Don’t do that!” Bam! I was stunned by her reaction and just as quickly turned and said sharply, “Cut that out!” My harsh words caused tears to well up in her eyes immediately. I felt wronged, and she felt wronged by being yelled at. I didn’t know that she had put a new dress that she was sewing into that paper bag, and she didn’t know that I didn’t know that I didn’t know.
And there we were, just hours after my performing a ceremony of holy matrimony, getting into our car and driving toward Texarkana in angry silence. We drove five hours without a word between us, and then neither of us could stand the silence any longer. We began to communicate about what had really happened and why each had felt wronged. By the time we finally arrived at our destination, we had forgiven each other and were ready to kiss and make up.
All couples fight. Good couples fight clean. Bad couples fight dirty.
Good marital conflict leads to resolution and greater closeness. Bad marital conflict presses for victory, which leads to alienation and the potential for revenge.
Stayed tuned over the next several weeks as we discuss conflict and how to resolve it within your relationship
My Question For You:
What kind of conflict do you have in your relationship? Do you fight clean or dirty?
My Challenge For You:
The next time conflict arises in your relationship, think about whether you are pressing for a victory or for resolution.
Talking to Our Kids About Sex
Worth The Wait in Tennessee
As a Student Pastor I spent the first ten years giving students the best advice I knew when it came to dating. “The Bible says don’t have sex, so don’t! It mentions fleeing from sexual immorality so I guess that means don’t touch the parts of another’s body that are covered with clothes. Other than that date, kiss and enjoy those great years of junior and senior high relationships!”
Then I eventually saw and had to counsel many of those same students who ended up going too far physically, suffered through broken hearts or lost their own spiritual passion while pursuing their personal romance. Then I discovered the timeless wisdom from the Song of Solomon. It changed my ministry. It changed my parenting. It changed my life! Who would have ever thought that something written over two thousand years ago could be so relevant for students today?
I love watching the raw scriptures in Song of Solomon challenge students’ thinking and rearrange their perspective when it comes to healthy relationships with the opposite sex. I have used these biblical principles with my own teenage kids. Although they resisted the ideas at first (my daughter once told her older brother that dad was “trying to brainwash her with that Solomon stuff”), they are realizing God may have a better idea when it comes to dating than their peers do. Imagine that. 🙂
I can’t wait to see you in Tennessee!
Keith Smith
Worth the Wait
Daniel – Things to Come
Perspective is everything. Every Christian should know their Bible, and perhaps there is no more enticing and controversial topic than that of the End Times and knowing how “it is all going to work out.”
This study of the Book of Daniel is the key to unlocking all other Biblical passages. This is not just about figuring out how it will all end, but it is about finding our place in this journey and how knowing the end gives even more purpose, peace and intensity to living for Today.
Tommy Nelson is one of America’s premier teachers and one of the most gifted communicators in taking “big” pieces of Scripture and helping us understand them. This is the newest release in the Tommy Nelson Bible Study Series.
The study in Daniel will follow the simple, profound and life changing model of all of Tommy’s teaching verse by verse and full of relevant application and inspiring stories.
So, whether you are a long time believer, new Christian, or perhaps you are still seeking to find the truth about God, Heaven and eternal things then Daniel – Things to Come is the study for you, your small group or your Sunday Class study.
To watch some video clips of this series please click here.
Download the First Study Session Free:
To download the first session click here and use the certification code below.
CERT-190-0-1591471101921541939873
Bigger in Texas
“Everything is Big in Texas…”
Having lived in Texas for five years, I can attest to this statement which has become common association with the state of Texas. From its geographic boundaries, to its open skies, the state fair, and the new Cowboy stadium, Texas does everything big. Sunday November 15, 2009 promises to be no exception, as hundreds of teens gather in Austin, at Hill Country Bible Church, for the “Worth the Wait Conference.” The purpose is to engage in a constructive dialogue on the subject of healthy relationships. Our areas of focus will be attraction, dating, courtship, and intimacy.
God’s passions and purposes on the subject of healthy relationships are not new. The Scriptures, in particular the Song of Solomon, have been given to us and they affirm His desire for us to choose faith over fear, character over compromise, and beauty over destructive habits for our lives.
I’m convinced that growing and developing healthy relationships must remain at the center of our nation’s social order. In our time together, we will examine the godly character of two people, whose interactions were noble and true, so much so that God deemed it necessary to record their relationship (in full view) in the most significant book in human history. We are benefactors of their commitment to wait and their trust in God’s way . Their conversations and actions serve as a road map for us.
You may be thinking, but what is Goodie going to say and how is it going to say these things. First, I have two kids and I know how my wife and I would feel if someone carelessly worded or expressed something that was true, but did so in a way that was offensive, crass or lacking compassion.
As a Pastor and author, I have been entrusted to communicate the scriptures and have a sacred trust to present the message in a way that is relevant, honorable, true; and at the same time challenges students and offers grace to those in need (Psalm 130).
I’ve invested over half of my adult life serving young people and families; it’s been an honor to do so. November 15th however, is an investment in the future of our teens, the family unit, our community, and the communal tribe of humanity. It’s nothing short of Big! I hope to see you there.
What Are You Feeding Your Spouse?
You Become What You Give
A very important aspect of a truly good marriage is that a couple bring out the best in each other, each person being the type of person he or she would also like to be. Your spouse should be one of your heroes!
It is up to a spouse to determine what type of emotional “nourishment” will be given in a marriage. Will you feed your mate unkind words, bitterness or negativity? Or will you feed your mate encouragement, value and genuine compliments? In this case, it is often true that you give what you get. Someone who receives bitterness and negativity will likely express bitterness and negativity to others. Likewise, someone who receives unconditional love and appreciation is likely to give the same to others. – Tommy Nelson Song of Solomon
My Question For You:
What are you feeding your spouse?
My Challenge For You:
If you’re not feeding your spouse encouragement and support, you might try changing your diet!
Trial & Error for our Kids?
From the moment Tommy Nelson and I began traveling and leading Song of Solomon conferences the quote has been, “Wow, I wished I had heard this years ago.” Which of course means that there is some tough tuition that has been paid.
All of us have some level of scar tissue around the area of love, dating, romance and sex. Some of this is inevitable. But, do our kids have to learn the same way as we did? Or as Tommy says in the SOS Classic Series, “We all figured it out by looking at the bathroom wall at the gas station.”
Well, our kids do have a better way. They don’t have to pay the same tuition as many of us have. God’s plan for love, dating, marriage and sex is laid out in Song of Solomon.
If you live anywhere in driving distance of Austin, TX then you need to get your 6th-12th grade student or your YoungLife, Church group or any other group and come hear God’s design from Goodie Goodloe. Goodie will be teaching the Worth the Wait event on November 15, 2009 from 5:30PM – 9PM at Hill Country Bible Church.
It has always been our heart to bring God’s will and desire to light on the subject of sex so students and adults know that this is God’s gift, not the worlds. Amazing things can happen when a person connects this most passionate and volatile issue of love and sex to a Holy God. Sex is not dirty, kinky or wrong, it can be and has been for many, but this was not God’s intention. Sex was designed to be awesome, fun, intimate, sweet, tender, passionate, creative, connecting, nurturing and just fun – for married couples.
So, a question for you. If you have a junior high or high school student, how many times does the world teach your child about love/dating/sex and how often does your child hear God’s design from you/church/other christian resources?
If I can teach any person about anything 300 times a day and the opponent only teaches 1 time a day, then repetition always wins.
We must get in this battle and allow God to redeem what He created for us to enjoy.
Join us in Austin in November and learn how to talk to your children about this subject that will ultimately change their lives – for the better. This is a two-part conference with a session taught to parents and a separate session taught to students. Sign Up Today!
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