Conflict Denied: Conflict Series Part III
Newly married couples need to expect conflict, although I am not advocating that they should look for it. Picking a fight just for the sake of having a fight is not the goal. At the same time, a husband or wife should never shy away from conflict in a spirit of denial—either denying oneself full expression of opinions and ideas, or denying that certain situations within the marriage need resolution, repair, or readdressing. Those who live in denial live in a false peace.
It is far better to get differences of opinion out in the open than to keep them stuffed inside for the sake of perceived peace. Such peace is going to be fragile. Feelings of anger and hurt are likely to go underground and build to an explosion point at a later time. Too much pent-up emotion related to any issue can cause a situation to be blown far beyond the proportions warranted by the initial behavior or circumstance.
One person I know said this about his marriage of twenty-five years to a wife he adores: “Neither of us is good at silence. We vent our feelings frequently. We are quick to state our opinions and quick to resolve our differences. We don’t let anything negative brew and build between us. If we ever let things build up in us over time, we’d likely blow ourselves up in the process of blowing off steam.”
In my opinion, this couple has a very healthy attitude toward conflict.
My Question For You:
Do you express your feelings, opinions and ideas to your mate, even when they are difficult, or do you hold them inside?
My Challenge For You:
Make your relationship a safe place for both you and your mate to discuss your feelings, both good and bad.
Share your thoughts with us here.
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If you missed the first two devotionals on conflict, read them here: