Solomon did not at first respond to his wife’s rejection in an angry way. He persisted in expressing his desire. At first he only called to her. She heard his voice. Then even after she had rejected him verbally, he reached out for her. His behavior did not mirror hers. He continued to pursue her in love. Refuse to overreact or to react too quickly to what another person does or says. One person said to me, “My mother had a phrase, ‘let the river roll on for a while.’ We livedRead More....

A number of people who have heard me teach on the Song of Solomon have asked me, “But how can I tell if my spouse is upset over something I’ve done?  My spouse doesn’t seem to give me any clue that I’ve stepped on her toes or tripped her up.”  Every person has different means of communicating and sending signals.  It may take you a little time to determine when you have overstepped the boundaries of what your mate considers to be appropriate or good behavior.  My wife’s foremost Read More....

On Valentine's Day in LA  there were two premieres: The Valentine's Day movie and Truth According to God on Love, Sex, and Marriage. In downtown LA on Broadway, the heart of culture influencing media, the gospel of Jesus Christ and His design for romantic relationships was communicated. Pastor Mark Driscoll shared from the Bible, his heart, and his experience as a pastor on how God is the creator of our bodies and souls and just how messed up our lives can get when we try and figure out sexRead More....

Last week we left our discussion with being slow to anger and not reacting like the person who has hurt you so that you resolve your conflict.  Maybe you are saying, “But you said previously, Tommy, that I should not stifle my feelings and that I should express them freely in my marriage.”  That’s absolutely correct, but how and when you express your feelings, and with what underlying motive and attitude, are very important. Express yourself, yes, but wait until your emotional temperaRead More....

Conflict Series (Part 9): Resolution to Both Parties Feel Harmed At the end of December, we were discussing how both Solomon and his bride were feeling wronged by a conflict they were having. This is the time when a conflict can most easily be resolved. How? You can determine that you do not need to react as your mate has reacted. If your mate has hurt you, you do not need to hurt your mate. Whatever your mate has done to you, you do not need to respond in kind. The Read More....

Minneapolis/St. Paul, you sure know how to heat up your city. When we arrived that night it was a low of -6. Of course, just another day in the neighborhood for you guys. Brrr! How tough are you? Outside my hotel there was an OUTDOOR concert, a band playing 80's cover tunes, in that weather. Now, I can tell you that the crowd wasn't quite Woodstock like, but still, that is what I call hard-core and committed to fun. On Saturday at the St. Paul River Centre, over 2,000 people came to hear PRead More....