In the Song of Solomon, Solomon refers to their bedroom as En Gedi. En Gedi was this picture you see just taken by Mark Driscoll on his recent trip to Israel.
So, what is En Gedi?
En-Gedi is a lush oasis in the midst of the desert wilderness on the southwestern shore of the Dead Sea. The surrounding region is hot and bleak; its dry sands extend monotonously for miles. The Dead Sea region is a salty desert covered with a dusty haze and characterized by almost unbearable heat during most of the year. The lush oasis of En-Gedi is the only sign of greenery or life for miles around. It stands out as a surprising contrast to the bleak, dry desert wilderness around it. In the midst of this bleak desert wilderness is the lush oasis in which indescribable beauty is found. The lush oasis and waterfall brings welcome relief and refreshment to the weary desert traveler. (Taken from www.bible.org)
This concept and principle in SOS and a major feature of Mark Driscoll’s presentation in Austin on October 2-3, 2009 is absolutely one of my favorites. Every week and even everyday it seems, there may be some very difficult news, sad news, or even painful news that comes our way. If our relationship with our spouse is one of those “difficult things” then life becomes even more stressful and hard to deal with.
Making your bedroom En Gedi is of the utmost importance. Your bedroom is not only for intimacy, but it is for all the talking, relaxing, sharing your day, sharing your soul, resting, reading, and all of the inner soul things that we need as individuals and couples in order to experience intimacy.
Song of Solomon refers to “keeping the foxes” out of the vineyard. What are some of the foxes that might steal true En Gedi from your bedroom?
The first ten people to post a ‘fox’ or comment will receive a free ticket to hear Mark & Grace Driscoll in Austin. Don’t live in Austin? Win a ticket and come to the coolest city in Texas. Can’t do that? Win a ticket and find a friend on Facebook who lives in Texas:) and share the ticket.
For us, a ‘fox’ that we keep out of the bedroom is TV. After reading studies and hearing personal testimonies about nixing television from the bedroom, we decided to be TV-free well before we were even married. Our experience would seem to line up with what we had read and heard before. Without the added distraction, there is far more time for intimacy, both emotionally and physically…if you know what I’m saying ;).
From the decor to the mood to the lack of distractions, I would say that our bedroom really is quite En Gedi-ish. Reading this and seeing that picture, though, motivates me to create even more of an oasis-like experience.
Oh, and we do live in Austin, but will be out of town this weekend seeing family :(. However, we are pushing the conference (one I’ve been to multiple times back in the Tommy days) big time at Origins so a free ticket would be super handy!
The foxes that steal true En Gedi from our bedroom are work and the internet. Look forward to the conference.
I want to climb those rocks. I hear Israel has some great rock climbing! Forget En Gedi, I want some limestone!
And I bet you a fox could climb those rocks better than myself!
We’ve tried through the years to make our bedroom a “safe” place where the kids could come in (if the door wasn’t locked) and for us (if we locked the door). Now that they’ve left home, we still keep it a sanctuary by keeping the TV out, and only allowing sleeping, reading, and sex. It’s great to come into the room after a long day, knowing that we’re safe there.
Over the years we have removed bookshelves, a sewing machine, and clutter from our bedroom in order to produce a peaceful space. We keep the foxes out of conversations, such as no serious decision making in the bedroom. We thank the Lord at night for each day and family and friends which gives us a sense of gratitude and peace.
The comments above about En Gedi are interesting. For some time now I have been feeling a need to change the color of the bedroom walls to a sunshine color and to add green art work to portray nature and the garden. I think our souls are seeking a peaceful place for refreshment.
When you work from home and you have a desk in your room covered with papers, it’s just an un-cool reminder that you have other things and deadlines that are calling for your attention.
PS: Sorry if there are multiple postings on this… for some reason the site wouldn’t allow a post earlier
I’m way excited about this conference. Driscoll is one of my favorite guys. And Piper. And Chandler. And Carter. Yes.
Bringing work into the bedroom was our fox (well, okay it was MY fox). It was just so easy to fire off a few emails on the laptop. We now have a “no work in the bedroom” policy and it is working beautifully!
The foxes in our bedroom are a dog and cat. We lock the little foxes out and they scratch and whine at the door. Looking forward to the conference!
A Fox may be just using the bedroom to sleep in and not share time with your spouse… Avoiding the bedroom until you have to go to sleep because you dont want to talk to him or her about your day..
Hoping to pass this ticket to a friend.
I say a true ‘fox” in the bedroom is a tv. It steals time away from the one you love – and makes it much easier to focus on less important things – like trends and culture in the world today. A bedroom should be a place of rest and relaxation and a place of En Ghedi regardless of whether you’re single or married! What a great msg 🙂
Thanks everyone for your comments. We have notified the winners and look forward to seeing you next week in Austin.
One of the foxes in our bedroom is the kids. Our DD has terrible anxiety about the dark and sleeping in her own room. Our DS wants to follow what sister is doing and therefore, we have two children sleeping on our bedroom floor. DH hates it!
I have to admit, I don’t quite understand why SOS was included in the Bible. It is my understanding that Solomon had many wives and that during this time in history, women were not highly thought of. It seems like the book then is not a Holy example of intimacy. It also seems to be written for the advantage of men and a woman’s ability to meet a mans sexual needs.
Marcee,
Thank you so much for your honest and what I know is a pretty difficult situation. I don’t claim to understand how to really solve the anxiety issue. Have you consulted a professional cousnelor on that topic. I think that would be my first recommendation.
As to Song of Solomon being geared only for men, I do think that misses much of the beauty and balance of the Scripture. Absolutely Solomon sinned and that is really what Ecclesiastes is about and God’s displeasure with Solomon pursuing his fleshly desires. But in SOS, also has such verses ‘you are all together lovely’ where Solomon edifies his wife. It shows his protection for her and how in chapter 1 he has made her feel more lovely.
I think the overall key is a husband and wife being kind and courageous enough to have some what I know are difficult conversations, but getting some of these very key but sensitive topics out in the open. As I like to say, ‘give the situation some air’ to breathe. I might also encourage you and your husband to visit a good christian counselor and just maybe get the ‘conversation started.’
God is all about Redeeming whatever situation we are in. Life is not easy, but He is able to handle anything and everything.
God is with you.
A cell phone next to the bed is a fox in the bedroom. Suddenly, being off limits while you are sleeping with your spouse in the privacy of your own bedroom no longer applies. With texting, your spouse can literally be talking to anyone while at the same time laying next to you. Also, the vibration mode of the phone may wake up one spouse repeatedly during the night while the other spouse may be able to sleep through it.
What Mark said about Engedi at the conference in Minneapolis this week really affected us. We have been in a variety of co-sleeping arrangements with our four kids for almost all of our 7 years of marriage. At times it was necessary for us to get any sleep. We have faced huge trials as a couple, most recently surviving cancer (me), losing a baby, and dealing with a life-threatening – and altering – illness in one of our small children. However, Mark’s teaching was the kick in the pants we needed to change our sleep situation. In two days, we have instituted a new sleeping arrangements and routines for everyone in the house, and we have hope – like Doug promised in one of opening sessions – that God will use our prayerful decision to bless everyone in the house, our kids included. Thanks for helping us establish Engedi in our home – we already love it!