No matter how you feel the Lord prompting you to respond to a conflict, you should feel remorse that any type of conflict has occurred.  You are to lament the fact that the marriage relationship has suffered an injury, regardless of what happened or who was responsible for initiating the conflict.  The woman felt the full sting and pain of what she had done (see Song 5:6-8).

Solomon did not inflict the pain upon her; it was the “watchmen,” the faithful guardians of God’s people.  If your spouse wrongs you, give God some time to work in your mate’s heart.  Let God have an opportunity to deal with the conscience of your spouse.  Your role is not to have that of the Holy Spirit in your spouse’s life.  My role as a husband is to teach my wife what I know to be true, love her tenderly, care for her, and provide for her all that she needs, but I am not her Savior, her divine Spirit of truth, or her Comforter and Counselor.  Only the Lord can fill those roles.

I have counseled many couples in which either the husband or the wife continually nags the other about what the other does wrong before the Lord.  These beleaguered nagged spouses can’t hear the voice of the Lord because the spouse is talking so loudly!  They feel manipulated, put upon, and downtrodden.  My advice to the nagging spouse is to keep quiet and let God work.  It’s amazing how God moves into a person’s life.  Truly His ways are higher than man’s ways, and His methods are not only very creative but extremely effective!

My Question For You: Has nagging broken in to your relationship?  Are you the nag or are you being nagged?  How do you feel about that?

My Challenge For You: Don’t nag.  It surely won’t help your relationship.  Let the Holy Spirit work.

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